Chasing Domestic Bliss

Book of the Month: Valentine

2012-02-14T10:05:00.000-08:00

Last week at the library I came across their special holiday section. We love Little Bear around here and so seeing a special Valentines story about him was a chance to enjoy the holiday with Kyan. The story is sweet and simple. The reader follows Little Bear as he makes and delivers Valentines to his friends. Through it all he is wondering who left him a Valentine in his mailbox. The characters live in the late 19th century so there is a charm to the illustrations and period that more modern set stories just don't have.

I find holidays to be a bit hard for kids since the day always has anticipation and then is gone so quickly. Since Ky loves holidays so much (he is still singing Christmas carols!) I try to spread them out over a couple of weeks before and after, reading holiday stories like this one makes a great marker in time.

sourdough

2012-02-11T16:46:00.000-08:00

The food horizon is always changing around here. Reading, trial and error, dinners shared and tips exchanged the collective "we" and the small group of four of us try out new textures and tastes. Some are more successful than others and for my style of learning it's a curve. A long one. And our road to sourdough has been a few years in the making now. Beginning with reading Nourishing Traditions: The Cookbook that Challenges Politically Correct Nutrition and the Diet Dictocrats and then little snippets here and there which lead me to stop making the commercial yeast bread I had been making and start buying sourdough until I had the emotional courage to try the process on my own.
Taking a cooking class was really helpful. 3 hours to watch and feel and learn the process. What I came away with first off was that this process is more intuitive than precise. That was something I came to understand in my previous work with bread as well. So to learn is: to do, to fail or succeed, take note and try again. This process will involve using each sense to become attuned to the living culture that is in my fridge; feeding it, making it grow and develop in a way that is unique to me and my surroundings.

The lovely cooking class venue Radha eatery.

For more info on sourdough I recommend reading the above book or checking out Sourdough Companion.
I came home from the class with some sourdough starter and a few days later tried my luck. Feeding the starter creates more than what would be needed to make one loaf so I made crackers and bread.
Using this recipe I was happy with how the crackers turned out.

Tasty. They remind me a bit of the brand Wheat Thins. Except of course they are healthier and thicker. I'll work on rolling them out thinner next time.
The bread kept me guessing and took a long time. I'll have to get used to the timing thing. As I said before it's all about creating an intuitive exchange between me and the rising flour. The final loaf wasn't much to look at but tasted good. Everyone in the house ate it without complaint so I feel that in and of itself is a success. Tomorrow I'm going to give sourdough pancakes a go. We'll see how my 4 year old pancake connoisseur rates them.

laundress

2012-02-08T23:16:00.000-08:00

Many complain about the mundane chores; dishes, vacuuming, dusting (don't even get me started) but when it comes to laundry, for me, there is a touch of a romantic notion. It only just recently become clear to me when I was enjoying this view that maybe I would be looked at sideways by some for enjoying the look of a basket full of clean laundry.

My clothesline obsession has been hinted at here and there and has now found a resting place here. The rudimentary aspects of the laundress, a la Kate Winslet in Quills (minus the insane asylum and unrequited love) appeal to my senses somehow. Was I a coy laundress in a past life, walking through halls with a basket balanced on my hip and a tune in my head?
Fancy laundry rooms or pretty washing machines aren't really what I'm going for here. It is really an aesthetic. Baskets, fabric, piles....this is kind of a new revelation and fascination. I'll have to see if it goes anywhere from here.
Perhaps I'm just finding a little bit of zen in this housekeeping world that many overlook. Challenging the idea that it is mindless or drudgery. I'll keep you posted.

Poem of the Month: comfort

2012-02-05T10:00:00.000-08:00

One of my dearest and most wonderful friends is going through some serious stuff. Heart wrenching, heavy and so, so hard. As a friend support is all I have, love and time and positive energy. I wanted to send these to you, may they give you some comfort or help in any hard moments to come.

My Help is in the Mountain

by Nancy Wood

My help is in the mountain

Where I take myself to heal

The earthly wounds

That people give to me.

I find a rock with sun on it

And a stream where the water runs gentle

And the trees which one by one give me company.

So must I stay for a long time

Until I have grown from the rock

And the stream is running through me

And I cannot tell myself from one tall tree.

Then I know that nothing touches me

Nor makes me run away.

My help is in the mountain

That I take away with me.

Earth Cure Me

by Nancy Wood

Earth cure me. Earth receive my woe. Rock strengthen me.

Rock receive my weakness. Rain wash my sadness away.

Rain receive my doubt. Sun make sweet my song.

Sun receive the anger from my heart.

Art for Imbolc

2012-02-03T14:52:00.000-08:00

Our Imbolc was simple. Paint, some sunshine, quiche for dinner, and an attempt at music making. Elliott really needs a drum since all he wanted to do was bang on my guitar. (He'll get one for his birthday I think.)

my project was extending this piece from Alphonse Mucha

Ky decided to paint the ocean. I had to convince him to add white and once he agreed it really came to life.

He never uses much purple, Brighid must have been calling to him

I had hoped to do a nice little ritual for myself since I've been feeling the calling. But alas the day turned to night and the baby decided not to sleep. So it will have to wait until I work it in somewhere else.

Family Winter Wellness

2012-01-31T15:17:00.000-08:00

We are in the thick of it...that dreaded time of the year when most people are sick with something and we all do our best to avoid joining them if we can. Last year I wrote a piece for Pagan Pages about family winter wellness and I wanted to re-post some of it here with a few additions that I have discovered over the past year. Feel free to add any tips in the comments that you use with your family to stay healthy (since we can all use all the help we can get!)

The dark phase of the year often brings with it lower immune systems and colds and flus. I have become more aware of preventing illness and remembering these tips I’ve assembled is helpful even though they can be hard to put in to practice at times. Of course if we do get ill we know that it is a message from our body that slowing down and resting is in order. And speaking of rest...

Sleep
Getting enough sleep is always important but since this is the darker time of the year it seems to be a better time to make that happen for yourself and your kids. Let your evenings be as calm as possible. If you can’t make every evening relaxing try and do it at least once a week. Use candles or dim lighting to keep everyone more introspective. Have some herbal tea for dessert and read together. Have blankets on hand for getting cozy under and make sure that bedrooms are refuge-like for everyone.

Wash those Hands
I know this one is about as basic as you can get but I am constantly amazed by how many people do not wash their hands properly. The best way to prevent the spreading of illnesses is by washing your hands for at least 20 seconds with regular soap and water. Many parents have hand sanitizer and wipes in case a sink is not an option before snacks when you are out and about. You can help encourage your children to wash their hands by making it as fun as possible. Soaps in fun shapes, colourful towels, and stools to help everyone reach the sink are really helpful. Singing while washing always helps with my little one. It will also help you to remember how long they need to wash. Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star is our favourite standby for hand washing.

Eat immunity boosting foods
Remember to include immune system boosting foods like garlic and ginger in your family’s diet. We love hummus which has a healthy dose of garlic, this hot drink recipe looks great (although I would lessen the sugar replacing it with honey or maple syrup and just sweeten to taste) broths are also great for health; chicken, beef or fish bones boiled down with water. You can find a recipe here. Also Mothering has a wonderful article about helping children with the flu that has stuck with me. So much valuable information!

Colour Therapy
Grey days are hard for everyone but children can have a harder time communicating a feeling of sadness or moodiness that may be brought on by a lack of sunlight exposure. One way to help that is to have sunny colours around your home for them to feed off of. A bright wall hanging, throw pillows, making colourful art together and dressing them in sunny coloured clothing for daytime can all help with this often silent problem.

Skin Care
Staying hydrated is key in cold weather just like in the summertime. Heaters and indoor re-circulated air dry out the skin. Try using a gentle soap for your young one’s skin and use it sparingly in only the body creases or very dirty areas. Otherwise use moisturizers and drink lots of fluids to try and keep your skin from drying out or cracking. Also remember to use sunscreen if out on very bright days with lots of sun reflection.

Fresh Air
Fresh air is good for us and so is natural light. There may not be much natural light to spare but it is a good practice to get out as much as you can. The air indoors is never as good for your lungs as that from a brisk walk or an afternoon of outdoor fun. Opening the windows for even a few minutes can help circulate the stale indoor air. Light helps keep the winter blues at bay and makes your system function with the natural rhythms of the earth.

the voice

2012-01-28T09:43:00.000-08:00

A conversation that circulated through my group of friends sometimes before, but often after children began entering our lives was about "the voice." This voice had a certain tone, a certain firmness and usually a look to accompany it. Often it included your middle name or if you were really in trouble your whole name said slowly and succinctly. For my friend Heidi Joy it arrived a year or so into her mommy journey but for me I must admit that while I used a firm voice with Ky many times before now I didn't hear "the voice" until just recently. The first time it came out I was sure I was shouting, it took me by surprise and I stopped short. But I was heard...there was a response to it. With the addition of a brother to the scene and around turning 4 Kyan's volume level went up. Loud voice, loud singing, loud samurai moves, shrieking, impressions, joke telling...it's all loud. And then you add pulling off your brother's socks, tumbling bear hugs, toy destroying prevention, and a baby who has found his lung capacity and it's really freaking loud.
What did my mama instincts do? Summoned up the voice.
The let your brother out of that headlock, he can't be a ghost under the blanket, and for the 10th time stop jumping off the couch voice.
For a while I questioned my attachment parenting philosophy and how it aligned with this sound emanating from me. I asked myself are you sure you aren't yelling, are you sure this is not going to damage your child somehow? The answer that I have come to many times is that when the chips are down and the top is blowing off your head there must be a game changer. The voice is that game changer. It sets the tone, it is a signal. Definite, clear, succinct. Heidi Joy calls it dragon mama, but regardless of its name it is from a deep place of parental discipline that all children no matter of culture or creed recognize as the final warning. Just as our children are growing and evolving everyday we as parents change too. Adapt or be left in the parenting dust of yesterday so to speak. Adapt I have.

dreamers and doers

2012-01-24T20:52:00.000-08:00

On a recent evening Dave put on The Strombo Show from January 15th of this year. George Stroumboulopoulos was talking with a long time friend of his, Bob Mackowycz Jr. about their career paths and how they were such doers that they needed to remind themselves to dream. They spoke about this at length and with a rather wistful nostalgia for their driven youth in which they worked crazy hours to propel themselves towards their future goals. They saw themselves as doers; working hard, for long hours and becoming so "good" at living the life that they had created that they needed to make time to dream or challenge if you will, their patterns and habits. The downside of their doer lives being that they would neglect the more intuitive parts of themselves, to busy to listen to their soul's voices that may be whispering to them.

This struck a cord with me and as George commented that he needed to be more of a dreamer I quipped that I do not have that problem. In fact for most of my life I had the opposite problem; I was too much of a dreamer and not enough of a doer. I could say that growing up in a rural area contributed to my dreamer state. I spent hours in my room as a teenager, listening to music, drawing and imagining scenarios for my life. Being a dreamer added to my t.v. addiction since I was able to imagine more future possibilities just by the flick of a switch. I could be this, I could do that, I could meet....you get the drift. I often tried things and did lots with school and friends but I certainly didn't have a drive to pursue my dreams at all cost. Instead I waited for some magical day when all these ideas would manifest themselves. And if there is one thing that I've learned in my 34 years it's that things practically never fall into your lap gift-wrapped and shining. Instead you have to go and get them, work hard, try, fail, try again. Push, nag, stop, start again. In short you have to do it.

Being a dreamer is not bad or good or better. Likewise with being a doer. They are just different and can really change the way your life progresses. An example of this can be found in Marion Fowler's book The Embroidered Tent: Five Gentlewomen in Early Canada. Fowler describes the difference between Catherine Parr Traill and Susanna Moodie, sisters who both immigrate to Canada from England and make a go of it in the wilderness. Catherine being the doer learns the trades of a pioneer housewife and deals with her fears and misgivings by mastering all she can control in her surroundings. Susanna on the other hand is a dreamer, a romantic who revels in the solitude of the wilderness but fails to become a doer in her early attempts. She struggles with her desire to dream and the expectations placed on her by her circumstances.

That push and pull makes a dreamer struggle in such a doer world. Dreaming big is important to our souls and has brought many of the greatest inventions and art into this world, but dreaming can also isolate and paralyze. And if you are mostly a doer you often fail to connect to something internal and bigger than your immediate daily tasks. Those little ideas that need time to blossom or need to be fed with beauty and time can be stifled by to-do lists or an over-filled schedule.

How is the balance achieved? I'm not sure. The dreamer in me is still a huge part of who I am. I wouldn't change that despite the things I could have achieved had I been more of a doer. Being a mom is about constant doing but I struggle in many ways to be more of a doer. To stop reading blogs, pinning on Pinterest, listening to podcasts and just do, be, live my life. Be here now. Dream big, but be here in this moment. Make more food, make more art, read more books, play more games with the boys.... I better get to the doing.

Oh, and just because I felt it was improper to not include the quintessential dreamer in this post here is a video of my favorite Beatle singing Imagine live.
"...I'm not the only one..."

Art of the Month: Memory Keeper 2011

2012-01-22T10:34:00.000-08:00

Here we are again, another turn around the sun has brought us to the fourth block of the Memory Keeper Project. To read up on the past blocks click here. Since 2011 was a year of bringing another new life to this world for our family I chose another "Birth-Giver" image to symbolize the year. This is a different variation of the image from the first one that started it all.

The lotus fabric I used for the background is one that I've loved for ages. The cream fabric is actually a toile and I quilted a spiral out from the belly. The four beads are from a Korean prayer bracelet that I've had for many years. Four beads representing each family member. I named 2011 "The Childbearing Year" since I had dubbed 2008 the birthing year and didn't want to refer to them with the same name since two very different babies were born in each.

This project becomes dearer to my heart with each year. Around the end of November I start thinking about what the next symbol will be and searching for a name to chronicle the waning year. In many ways this blog acts as my memory keeper too.

As I was taking the photos of this piece the subject arrived to inspect his first art piece. It was great that I didn't have to worry too much about him handling it; the glory of cloth work (although I did stop him before he drooled all over it) My little one is so curious and seems to be developing an appreciation for art already. The symbol for 2012 has revealed itself and is cut out and ready to be attached and embellished. And so another year begins...

8 & 9

2012-01-20T15:21:00.000-08:00

Another combined month review for little Elliott today. The last two months have ushered in pulling himself up on everything.

four more teeth. (we are at 7 if anyone is keeping track.)

crawling on hands and knees at break neck speed

and checking out snow for the first time. Verdict was cold but interesting.

Sleep was still all over the place, there was tons of baby talk, laughing with his brother and a developing appreciation for knock knock jokes. He may become the family clown, drummer or cliff diver as well but we are waiting for those traits to distinguish themselves further.

then comes snow

2012-01-18T16:43:00.000-08:00

Winter has officially arrived in the Lower Mainland. Specifically we have snow and below zero temperatures which for us is cold. Last year we didn't get any snow so this year has been very exciting for Kyan and he's been making snowballs and crunching down paths to pre-school and telling me all in the same day: "I love the snow" or "I don't like the snow" depending on whether the extra clothing involved in playing in it has been donned or not.

Keeping warm is my goal these days. Besides my slippers (which I just noticed are starting to come apart after close to 6 years of use) I've been warming with scarves and tea.

Our new year routine is moving along nicely. I'm on week two of the 52 Weeks to an Organized Home Challenge and what I'm gaining from this daily ritual of tiding up is some serious help in those crazy moments. Being on top of the housework is extremely satisfying when spending so much time indoors. January is working out so far. Not bad at all.

I want to remember...

2012-01-15T22:02:00.000-08:00

the spontaneous development of the written word coming from his hands. Asking about letters, spelling, numbers, time and dates.
Looking at a word I've written as a reference and copying it legibly the first time. His smile of satisfaction, his sense of pride and accomplishment.
How this all just arrived without any prompting, coercion or specific training, it just emerged.
It was just time for him to write. Amazing.

Book of the Month: Money matters

2012-01-12T21:57:00.000-08:00

In the gene pool distribution between my siblings and I the universe decided that I was not to get the money smarts. Cut to the girl who bought a shirt with her $20 that she only wore once, cut to her sister that had a substantial savings account by 15, cut to her brother that usually pays with cash, cut to a 25 year old who suddenly had a light bulb moment and decided that in order to not live hand to mouth she should get a steady J.O.B. Again, I would like to make clear that my parents were/are excellent with money, as is most of my extended family (many of whom came of age during the Depression and worked really hard to get all they had) but little old me has had to learn the hard way. Repeatedly. And becoming a parent has certainly helped me to learn it fully and take notes and get my act together.
Reading Your Money or Your Life: 9 Steps to Transforming Your Relationship with Money and Achieving Financial Independence by Vicki Robin and Joe Dominguez has helped me to get a plan, and see money as a tool instead of in such an abstract way. I still have a brain that balks at numbers, math, and the like (it still boggles my mind when people say they think math is fun...pardon?) But this book does line up with my values. It is about not living the set dream that North Americans seem to adhere to, you know: big house, two cars, two paychecks, shopping as recreation, consuming to affirm your life choices. Rather it asks you to work out what you want and make a plan to achieve it being resourceful, thinking outside of the box and being true to yourself, the environment and society as a whole.
We have yet to implement this book since I'm waiting for Dave to read it. Our financial life is joint just like every other part of being married, so beginning without him on board seems pointless. But it will get read and we will take the 9 steps it recommends and I have every confidence that this book will provide our map to a financial future that will be positive.

The new year is a great time to take stock and begin again. Finances are always an area that can use improvement. If you want to transform your lifestyle to match your values and reach financial independence I would recommend reading this book, it has the tools you'll need.

so fresh and so clean

2012-01-09T17:07:00.000-08:00

Through the fun that is pinterest I found a challenge that over 11,000 people have decided to join. And for the first time in my search for help in this area I've found a step-by-step organization guide that makes sense to me. The 52 Weeks to an Organized Home Challenge is following a schedule that I can manage (I think) and I already began week one today. The kitchen is the starting point and week one focuses on the counters. Clearing them of things that don't need to be there and keeping them as clear as possible once you have decided what functions the kitchen serves in your home. For us the kitchen is about food prep, storage and my mini life control center.
I think for many out there the advice on keeping the kitchen clean or organized may seem so logical that it doesn't need to be noted. When it comes to my artistic, dreamy and some would say flaky mind these things are not so obvious and bare repeating.
I'm glad to have found this and just looking at my kitchen counters now I see that they are more enticing to me to cook on now that they have less stuff on them.
In other new year news I've finished up two projects and I'm excited to move on to finishing up a few more things before I get back to Ky's quilt and start the Memory Keeper piece for 2012. Perhaps the New Moon energy would better suit the pace of these days rather than the full moon that shines on us tonight but I'm pleased none-the-less to be getting things accomplished. 2011 often felt like my feet were in mud and I was moving really slow. Being in the land of baby will do that to anyone I suppose.
I didn't take a before shot of my counters but if you read my last post there is enough proof that this looks way better.

disheveled

2012-01-04T21:22:00.000-08:00

The key to my days these past two weeks has been to just breathe...that is when I wasn't coughing. For someone who rarely gets colds this one that made its way through the whole family decided to linger with me far longer than I've liked. Since we were so busy with birthdays, Yule and engagement and wedding festivities it has been lingering and has made my days feel oh so disheveled. And while our home is starting to improve it too is painfully disheveled.

Because of course what our home needs is a complete overhaul. But I am determined not to subject the boys to constant home time, so we must deal with the mess. In small increments I'm putting away. I don't want things thrown about in a desperate dash for perceived order. Rather I'd like to know that things have a place and that they made it there when my head was as clear as possible so that I remember where they are. I feel like this entire month will be about slowly getting things moving towards a new normal. Kyan starts his winter classes next week (pre-school and a sports class) and I'm on a mission to finish several projects from 2011 before taking on my 2012 sewing projects. The quiet of winter seems to be helping in my healing from the cold, allowing myself a slow pace at organizing and finishing projects one by one. Lots of tea is helping a lot too.

Art of the month: gifting

2011-12-29T16:53:00.000-08:00

There was a good amount of sewing that went into this year's festivities. Beginning in November with birthdays I was making for my loved ones. There was of course more on the list than got finished (one of the things that was nixed was Elliott's stocking, despite working on it right up to the last minute. We used a fill in one for this year.) I was happy to have at least made what I did this year and I know that as I vow each year I'll try and start earlier in 2012 and have more gifts ready earlier...we'll see how that goes.
For my sister's birthday I made my fourth birthday banner.

This one was done in blues and greens and I modified the top to have the ribbon included rather than sewn over the top of each triangle as I did previously. And I also decided that after several years of using a banner myself it definitely needed it's own drawstring bag.

The next birthday gift was for my nephew's first birthday. Another area that I had worked on before my bibs. I have given bibs to several little people on their first birthdays because it is just about the time that big eating messes seem to happen.

Four bibs and a carry bag for two wooden puzzles. This fabric was found while thrifting and I still have some left over. Such a great pattern for little ones.
And my gift for Heidi Joy was a clothes pin apron based on this tutorial. If you look closely you'll notice where I deviated from the directions. But it was well received and I hope to make one for myself in the spring.

Our family was gifted some lovely handmades as well this Yule. I certainly feel blessed to have such crafty ladies in my circles of family and friends. I hope your holidays were full of thoughtful gifts as well.

four-orange

2011-12-27T15:49:00.000-08:00

a little boy turned four around here.

I would rather like to stop the pace of these years in many ways. It seems like just yesterday that this and this happened. This year brought a true understanding of the scope of a Christmas birthday...presents, cakes, parties and repeat. And this carol singing, Santa loving, big brother is just getting smarter and more himself each day. Love you Ky. Happy fourth birthday.

making

2011-12-22T09:43:00.001-08:00

I posted details of our family craft for 2011 at Pagan Parenting. Enjoy. And Happy Solstice.

Book of the Month: December

2011-12-18T09:49:00.000-08:00

For a little holiday inspiration I checked A Homemade Christmas: Creative Ideas for an Earth-Friendly, Frugal, Festive Holiday by Tina Barseghian out of the library last week. It has some wonderful projects and ideas for simple gifts, decorations and celebrations. Some of the ideas I liked were making Herbes de Provence blends for gifts, a list for stocking the pantry over the busy season, recycling your holiday cards into place mats, and directions on making homemade snow globes. The book is divided into 5 sections focusing on Greeting, Trimming, Cooking, Giving and Celebrating. An easy read with fun how-to's it can help any one get inspired to make their holiday a simple one.

Top Ten Holiday Albums 2011

2011-12-10T14:30:00.001-08:00

I love the holidays and I especially love holiday music. Since childhood the familiar tunes have rung through our home for baking, wrapping and caroling. My tastes have changed since my spiritual leanings have but this list has something for everyone who loves Christmas music. You can find my top ten holiday movies here. Please feel free to add your own must haves in the comments.

10. The Rat Pack Christmas Album. These songs are classic renditions of many favorites. Frank Sinatra, Dean Martin and Sammy Davis Jr. sing out White Christmas, Jingle Bells and Winter Wonderland along with one that I've come to love Let's Start the New Year Right.

9. Dolly Parton & Kenny Rogers' Once Upon A Christmas. Growing up with country music meant that I perused several country holiday albums as a kid. This one sticks with me because of the original songs like Christmas Without You and With Bells On. The twang of Dolly and Kenny is homey and simple which makes for a good album.

8. Elvis Presley If Every Day Was Like Christmas. Another album from my childhood although we listened to Blue Christmas on vinyl. But when I was linking to these the reviews for the cd version were negative so this album has all the songs I loved plus some others that sound nice. Blue Christmas has to be one of the best songs Elvis ever sang and Santa Bring My Baby Back to Me is pure fun.

7. Melissa Etheridge A New Thought for Christmas. I mentioned this album last year and it is really a nice departure from the typical albums with the classic songs. Her rendition of O Night Divine is refreshing and focuses on the solstice. This album rocks the holidays.

6. Loreena McKennit A Midwinter Night's Dream. Besides the cover art this album has some lovely old time sounding songs. Gloucestershire Wassail, Good King Wenceslas and Coventry Carol are great and I love her originals Snow and Seeds of Love as well.

5. Canned Heat Christmas Album. Are you looking for some bluesy songs to get you dancing and grooving...then this is your album. Deck the Halls, Boogie Boy ( Little Drummer Boy) and more get you out of your seat and moving. This is not your grandma's Christmas carols.

4. Santa Baby! Various Artists. The above album is similar to the compilation I have but it isn't the exact same. I wasn't able to find it to link to precisely. But if you happen to find it it's good. Eartha Kitt's Santa Baby, Patti Page's Boogie Woogie Santa Claus, Louis Armstrong's Zat You Santa Claus all terrific and not the repetitive songs that can grate on your nerves sometimes.

3. John Denver & The Muppets A Christmas Together. I just discovered this one this year...funny since it was originally released in the 1970's. Sweet and funny it's a perfect album to share with kids and enjoy. The Twelve Days of Christmas version here is charming.

2. Michael Buble Christmas. His voice is like butter I tell you. Great arrangements on this album, I love the style of old meets modern in the way he sings. Holly Jolly Christmas is a favorite and the guy version of Santa Baby, very meterosexual!

1. Aimee Mann One More Drifter in the Snow. There is just something about Aimee Mann's low and moody voice that exemplifies the holiday season. Firelight, snow gently falling, drinking something warm - just a few things this album conjures for me. Her version of You're a Mean One, Mr. Grinch is good for kids and adults (and really I'm impressed that she included it) and What Ever Happened to Christmas is contemplative and serene. This album is a great way to pull some reflective quiet into a hectic time of year.

around here

2011-12-03T11:07:00.001-08:00

there is wrapping, sewing and craft fair attending, parties appearing and lots of tea drinking. I'm sleepy these days and unfortunately grumpy as well. I'm sure the spirit will get me out of the funk eventually.

slowly we are putting things up, making cozy and trying to be present in each little bliss moment of the season. This holiday is my favorite and I post lots about it every year. When I'm grumpy I try to focus on the little things that make me happy like the brilliance of red leaves on an oak tree, the warmth of flannel on a cold night and the play of an almost 4 year old with his teddy bears.

lucky seven

2011-11-29T21:19:00.001-08:00

Well the little man's seventh month was all about moving and teething it seemed. Chesty coughs ushered in teeth and the third pushed through and seemed to herald the reality of a baby wanting to eat. When this guy was hungry watch out, he means business.

It was especially important for Mama to have something for him to munch on if big brother was eating or the temper flared...as with month six though the big smiles were prevalent. Mr. 25 pounds was a happy guy.

Rolling was also very popular in month seven, once sitting was mastered it wasn't long before he threw himself down and rolled to where ever he felt he needed to be. Sitting still was a rarity but could happen if brother was willing to entertain or Dada captured his attention with Zoom Zoom.

As the leaves fell the boy decided to learn to crawl. Military style. And seven flew by in a flash of baby giggles, swift transitions, and drooly kisses.

darkness settling down

2011-11-28T16:37:00.000-08:00

The dark time of year is settling upon us. Whether we light it up because of our fear of the cold starkness or because of our culture's consumer expectations we most often deny our body's basic need for more rest and looking inward. I wrote about our use of artificial light two years ago, but this week I was reminded again of the importance of the dark.
Our bodies need to listen to these rhythms, work into them and let them sink into our consciousness. Pushing harder at this time most often results in illness and makes getting through the busy celebrations more taxing on us. Getting more sleep should be a priority. Sharon Astyk wrote a compelling piece on sleep's merits. Being as sleep deprived as I am I certainly understand the importance of sleep for our health. I wish I could listen to my body and sleep more. Part of why I haven't been sleeping more recently is parenthood and the other part is a silly insistence in being distracted from the really important things. So I watch t.v rather than sleep or surf the internet....you know what I mean?
Along with not letting your body rest comes the inevitable tornado of holiday "stuff" that seems to creep upon us faster each year. I enjoyed Sparrow's perspective on this in episode 91 of The Wigglian Way Podcast. She wanted to remind us all that in the span of the wheel of the year not letting the dark have it's proper place in our spirit is detrimental. Samhain comes and then we immediately put up our Yule lights and fill our days until the light is born again on Solstice. But what about that time of looking inward, having reflections of quiet and silence that the dark ushers in? I am making an effort to not let this coming month whiz by without some quiet time. That will be a challenge since there are many events, even more than we usually have to celebrate. And the joy that a very close to four year old exudes as his Christmas birthday approaches is not something I can tell to be patient for that much longer. But I hope to schedule lots of down time for the boys, early bedtimes, relaxing time at home, and as many walks outside as we can fit in.
It is important to remember also that the dark time lasts until Spring Equinox and so we can honour those rhythms after the busy holiday season is over as well.

10 years come and gone

2011-11-22T15:00:00.000-08:00

Two days ago I turned 34. In the first month that I moved to the west coast of Canada I turned 24. 10 years I have been here now. This rainy, lush rain forest of mountains, beaches and whole living goodness is where my heart found its home.
Looking back on the young woman I was when I moved here: a somewhat reluctant adventurer, naive to her dependence on others, full of dreams without much of an idea of how to manifest them, that person is still inside me. She is now combined with a 34 year old married mother of two, staring out from (hopefully) wiser eyes. There are days when that young thing takes a hold and says: What are you doing here? Can't we just make art, sing, go dancing somewhere....and the answer is usually no. I'm not the kid anymore, I have kids now. The kid in me does manifest with my children, I'm not completely without fun but there is responsibility and nurturing that comes first. So much has changed in these last 10 years...I've grown up, become an adult. Building a life, setting down roots and manifesting my vision of how life should be.
Some part of my soul knew that I had to let go of every known thing and fly across the country 10 years ago to meet my destiny. The universe pulled me here pretty much against my will. I remember crying with fear and my mother comforting me, neither of us knowing then that I would not be moving back east. I have learned in my 10 years here that doing the thing that your soul says to do is often not easy. It is scary, and you second guess your decisions in your fear. But that thing, what ever it is, pulls on you none-the-less and if you don't listen the first time it will just keep pulling at you anyway. And so here I sit, far from my family but nestled in the family that the universe manifested for me. Always missing them but secure that the 24 year old who followed her heart here was wise to put her fears aside and buy a one way ticket. And the 34 year old who hugs her boys and wonders at the spark of love that created her family here thanks her and everyone else who helped her along the way.

a little note to say....

2011-11-19T09:48:00.000-08:00

My photo was featured on habit yesterday. Take a look...

Tales from my Garden Wrap-up 2011

2011-11-15T16:10:00.000-08:00

Well I am currently enjoying a brief and rare treat of both boys napping at the same time! So what to do, what to do....write a post of course. My garden, oh, my little garden how you perplex me so. I am still learning and I think I always will be about how to best grow food. My first growing season here in our new home was all about trial and error and this year was mostly about error. The Sugar Snap peas were our big success. The squirrels were happy about my heirloom tomatoes but we were not. Brandywine and I are officially done. The Paul Robesons did not do great. The squash had lovely blossoms but never turned into anything and the green peppers were small and not flavourful. So, what to do? Well plant tulip bulbs, clean out the pots and rethink it all for next season. We will plant more peas, try some different tomatoes and since I have loved my cooking classes taken this fall I think a container gardening class is in order. Something is wrong with my methods whether it is the potting soil composition or the watering or fertilizing - I'm not sure. And while I'm at it I'll be sure to consult the star charts on the best planting days next season. But reading other gardener's words gives me hope: it is all a journey and I may never figure it all out. Sometimes things work and sometimes they don't. C'est la vie and that's gardening folks.
I'm happy that I tried, that the whole family loved eating sugar snaps right off the vine on the balcony and that under the earth we planted 12 yellow and orange tulips to grace us next spring after the primroses share their splendor. And if they don't come up we'll just try, try again.

Poem of the Month: November messages

2011-11-10T22:26:00.000-08:00

to M with love

at such distance

to sense that space

missing

there is a lingering sense

something just beyond reach

i have forgotten how to be without you

the struggle is more about feeling the crisis,

the misplaced energy,

the grasping that must surely find a foothold soon

we all struggle to find place

we all look outward when perhaps the place to look

is in

in to the dark, cobweb filled recess

where we put something long ago

something taken for granted

something that seemed insignificant at the time

something that makes our truth real

but is hard to accomplish

it requires our blood, so much determination

so much time, often

blinders to anything else

while I sit among reaching arms

and you resist kind meaning suggestions

it seems it was easier to dream this big dream

way back when

than to make it reality now

back on a bench in a small town

holding your hand

before we knew what we were

before birthday songs, confessions and births

but now is where we are

and i am grateful for each lesson

learned together or apart

part of us will always be sitting on that bench

and that simple joy gives me solace still

snippets

2011-11-09T15:44:00.000-08:00

The days have been blurring into one another these last few weeks. So I thought I'd share some snippets as a memory jogger for the future.

Halloween night and our pumpkins

our tired out baby bee

The leaf strewn path by our home

and our altar to our loved ones on the other side

These last few days have felt just as hectic but somehow there have been moments, snippets for a little of this:

That has brought some quiet to my mind. Tonight I'm off for a second round of Mama alone time in two weeks and Friday I will have some time to focus on some sewing thanks to my Mother-in-law. Remembering to breathe is always apropos here.

a naming day

2011-11-03T22:32:00.000-07:00

Last week we had a naming ceremony for Elliott. Looking back on the post of Kyan's naming the two days could not have been more opposite. A sunny June 28th and a rainy October 28th (funny that I picked the same day...didn't plan that one.) But regardless of the weather we, (three mamas, 4 kids and 2 babes) headed to the woods nearby to let nature provide the backdrop for Elliott's day.

The photos are all slightly blurry but I think that adds to the mood out there. Under the trees we didn't get pelted with rain but things were damp and we moved through the ritual without lingering too much. After all I didn't want the little ones to get too cold out there. I began by telling the meaning behind the name Elliott and his middle name and listing the ancestors he is connected to by his names and his day of birth. Then each of the kids circled him for his elemental blessing. Maracas and bells for air bringing virtues of quick wit, imagination, intuition and communication. Candles for fire bringing: passion, creativity, drive and regeneration.

Water bringing virtues of compassion, courage, empathy and fluidity (so important for a Pisces!) And salt and rice for earth bringing with them health, strength, grounding and family connections.

Next we blessed him with a rosemary wreath for keeping tricky fairies away. Which is seen above in the first photo and then we filled his magical box with offerings of stones, shell and a clay pendant. From his immediate family he was given Blue Calcite from me, Angelite from Kyan and Hematite from Dave. We each chose our stones at a local gem shop and I was fascinated to read that the blue stone Kyan chose which I had never heard of before is a stone of peace and brotherhood. A fitting choice to give a little brother I'd say. I embroidered cloths with the family surnames for Elliott as I did for Ky and we chanted May you walk in the beauty way, dance along the sacred path, always in step with the rhythm of Mother Earth.
Whether or not Elliott becomes a pagan he will have this box to remind him of spirit and of the celebrations that he will attend with me as he grows. I still have to line the box with fabric and paint it but I was so glad to have the chance to make this little ritual happen for him.

We came back home afterward and feasted on Smokey Pumpkin soup, garlic cheese bread, tea and banana bread for dessert. It is a testament to how lovely my girlfriends are that when they left I had a loaf and a half of banana bread, a clean kitchen and a peaceful heart. This day was for Elliott and we are so grateful to have him in our midst. Me, his Dada and brother and our whole tribe.

the best laid plans

2011-10-26T10:51:00.000-07:00

Is it getting to be a bit of a typical story on here that I make plans and then they don't pan out? Perhaps the issue is the amount of plans, or the unrealistic expectations of a mother of a seven month old and an almost four year old. Today for instance, after a stressful night of a baby's upset stomach and fitful sleep I decided that if the four year old wants to play paper dolls in his pajamas rather than go to pre-school so be it. There are a dozen cobs of corn in my fridge that need to be blanched and frozen, birthday gifts to be finished and purchased, halloween costumes, halloween decorating, dishes, laundry, milk to pump, papers to file - maybe I should just stop there.

This post resonated with me this week. The chaos that my creative life lives in is overwhelming and yet it is all I have right now so I must make the best of it. If I waited for a quiet autumn day to contemplate my projects while warming my hands on a cup of tea....it would be spring before I even got around to making tea. So there are toys, a rolling baby, Thomas songs and Winnie the Pooh dialogue being recited in the background and tiny snippets of time in which to cut, stitch or embroider.

(photo by Kyan)

I have chosen this path and despite moments of panic and uncertainty (usually at 2 in the morning) I wouldn't change a thing. While watching the creative journey of others I am inspired to enter that space; the solitary, internal workings of the mind and soul as they collaborate to make and do. But even as a part of me longs for that the strongest part of my self says no, without this life, these boys, this level of commitment, you would not be fulfilled. And I know without question that that is my truth. So I do this and try to stand tall in that truth every day.

Art of the Month: October

2011-10-19T10:24:00.000-07:00

If you are a long time reader you may remember these pillows ( 1, 2, 3, 4) and while I still have a fond place in my heart for them our collective design sense has moved on. Specifically I wanted to replace the synthetic fiber fill with feather pillows because they look and feel better to me.

We were more in green tones before and now I'm all about blues. Trees and blues and greys with dark furniture...except our couch but that's another story.

I kept the other two simple and classic with a dark denim linen and a stone coloured cotton-linen blend. The buttons as you may remember were a gift to myself two years ago. I've finally been able to use them. I used the pattern in this book for the button pillow.

So these pillows are a hit. Comfy, simple and hopefully durable. Kyan keeps taking the small tree pattern one and hiding it in his closet, I guess he likes it.

We don't plow fields anymore

2011-10-16T06:00:00.000-07:00

Today is Blog Action Day for this year and the theme is Food in conjunction with The Food and Agriculture Organization of the United Nations' World Food Day. This topic's timing could not have been better for me since just yesterday I took a Food Fermentation class and learned the lacto-fermentation method. As I write this my first try at sauerkraut is souring on the counter. So my thoughts on food and culture, access, sustainability and health are inspired from learning new skills for my family's health. Food inspires, nourishes, comforts; it is essential that we connect with it.

Connecting with what we take into our bodies, relates to more than the food itself but spreads to the people that tend it and the elements that grow it as well. Having grown up on a farm I have watched this happen first hand. Sun warming the soil, rain bending grain to the ground, and the brown soil turned over into the long rows of a plowed field.

As close as I was to these processes that contribute to the food cycle there are many of us who are not. The shift in North American society from rural to urban living has left many of us without a connection to what we eat or the ones who grow it. This was driven home for me 11 years ago while I was still in University.

The Fine Art department had a series of practicing, accomplished artists visit us for lectures. One of the options for the students was to sign up and have an artist visit your studio space and critique your work. When a feminist artist who's essays I had read gave a lecture that inspired me, I nervously signed up for a visit. During her critique I realized that while I shared some political and cultural views with her we came from different worlds. This hit home when as part of her overall comments she summed up her view of my earth honouring, Goddess inspired subject matter with the statement: I mean, we don't plow fields anymore.

At the time I was too disappointed to respond to her. Later as I went over what she said I felt upset that I hadn't responded to her by saying that I actually had plowed a field. In fact all over the world people are still plowing, sowing, watering, and weeding. As I look back on this experience I feel sad for this woman that she was so disconnected from her food that she had forgotten this.

Today I live in the city but I still feel connected to my food. I work hard to impart the connections to my children and to never become so absorbed by urbanity that I would forget the farmers and gardeners who tend the land for us. We plow fields, we sow cover crops, we interact with plants using Permaculture, we are farmers, gatherers, foragers and cooks. These things are in our bones and are part of our collective memory for thousands of years, but most of all still happening all over this world every day so that we can survive. And not just survive but come together and share the most human experience of eating.

fall tradition

2011-10-12T14:40:00.000-07:00

After a wonderful thanksgiving with friends and family and food it seems that I'm thinking lots about tradition and how the boys will remember their childhoods. Certainly our annual trek to gather pumpkins and apples will hold fondness for them. The first year we visited this farm I was pregnant with Kyan, the next he couldn't stand up on his own yet and we propped him up with pumpkins. We had hay ride hysterics the following year and last year we shared the trek with my parents on their visit and I was pregnant with Elliott.

All the boys loved our excursion and obviously pumpkins are very popular around here being orange, part of Halloween festivities and being the perfect kind of pie filling. (a rival to rhubarb in my taste buds but not to Ky's)

With many that I love far away I find I appreciate the times I get to spend with friends and family that are here all the more. I try and cherish these moments and despite the fact that it can be hard to get my butt in gear to make the hour long drive it is always worth it. I came away from this day grounded in a way that only picking your own fruits can do. Interacting with the trees, watching the wasps fly around us in crazy fall frenzies, feeling a part of the hoards of parents and children having their farm experience and at the same time feeling separate from them.

Cherish is the word that keeps floating through my head. Cherish friends who are more like siblings, cherish food grown by local farmers, cherish fall as it sweeps the earth clean before her winter rest, and present opportunities for the young ones to cherish the things you do as another year goes round.

Poem of the Month: October

2011-10-10T09:00:00.000-07:00

All We Need

by Steve Turner

Food in our bellies

Hats on our heads

Water to quench us

Sheets on our beds

Teachers to teach us

Shoes on our feet

Trousers and T-shirts

Shelter and heat.

Someone to love us

Someone to love

Hope for the future

Light from above

From this anthology of poetry written for children. Happy Thanksgiving.

6!

2011-10-06T22:41:00.000-07:00

Six months have passed and my baby ain't so little any more. He sits unassisted now and seems to plop down as he pleases when he wants to shuffle around from back to tummy. I think I'm lucky that crawling has still not happened...he's not going to be still for long.

He loves to be outside and around people. When we spend the whole day at home he seems angry with me and gives his Dada lot's of smiles when he gets home as if to say: Thank goodness you're here. She's boring me to death.

Lucky for me I'm not the only one around. The brother bond is getting larger by the minute. They both make each other laugh, Ky will actually entertain him for extended periods now which comes in handy. I am amazed by the genetically programmed adoration that exudes from the second sibling for the first almost from birth. (I know from experience that this does not last and so it seems important to chronicle it)

His first meal was tree ripened, local organic peaches and they were a hit. Although eating remains a once a day thing and is still not top on his list. But if tonight's dinner was any indication month seven could take us to the next level and introduce Elliott having breakfast into our routine.

Month six has revealed even more of his personality: he loves bath time, doesn't like to feel constricted in the high chair or the car seat. Moves like crazy, grabs, squeezes, squeals and smiles big time.

Two teeth emerged after his last cold and we are in the middle of his third this month. I hate that he has been so sick in his first year....but despite my best efforts that is our life. I wonder if this cold will see the emergence of more teeth, we'll see. I still can't get over his eyes though. So far other than his size they are the feature that everyone comments on. Ah, this boy I could eat him up.

Book of the Month: September

2011-09-29T15:49:00.000-07:00

Just under the wire I thought I'd share a children's book that we took out from the library recently. Blueberries for Sal by Robert McCloskey is a charming classic that tells the story of a little girl and her mom picking blueberries for preserving. I love the charm of this story as it follows the immediate desire of the young ones to munch the berries right away while the mamas say think of the future. McCloskey also illustrated the story and my favorite image is on the front and back inside cover:

I've been enjoying images of old time kitchens recently. This one would be from the 1940's. So sweet. A lovely story to share with the little ones you love.

Our Equinox

2011-09-27T10:18:00.000-07:00

For the third year now we made our way to the other side of our mountain to share the morning with friends. This year it wasn't hot like the first, and there was little sunshine like the second, but the day was autumnal in its mist...

we spent time in the rose garden smelling the last of summer's warmth...

after the gentle rain dispersed we assembled a simple altar...

and of course played in the leaves.

this tradition is a comfortable one. Kind of like a familiar sweater and a mug of tea. Welcome Autumn!

a collection of days

2011-09-22T16:14:00.000-07:00

In the span of 20 days:

September 2nd

September 9th

September 20th

September 22nd

When Autumn comes she comes, not a moment too soon or late.

I want to remember...

2011-09-20T10:33:00.000-07:00

Kyan's art has blossomed into something more concrete to him. This month he started drawing people and this is our first family portrait.

Kyan upper right corner, Mama bottom right corner, Dada lower left, Elliott very faintly drawn beside Dada

In terms of painting he is still loving orange of course

Cutting out shapes and gluing them is a new passion

(a new pass-time for Mama is picking up tiny paper bits off the floor)

And make no mistake. Both Dada and Mama asked if the orange orb in the upper left of this one was the sun and we were both promptly told: "That's a circle!" Of course.

is it over yet?

2011-09-15T12:43:00.000-07:00

Even though we are only a week and a day away from the Autumnal Equinox I find myself looking forward to Samhain and the turning of the wheel. The "official" new year is still months away but this year is wearing on our family a bit. 2011 will be forever momentous as the year of Elliott's birth, a wonderful day but even on that day sickness was with us. We've (or more specifically Dave and Kyan) have had quite a year for illness. In 2010 I strove to increase our health and for much of the year we were healthy. Near the end though things started grabbing us and we spent each month of this year except July with some sort of cold, infection or stomach upset. And I'm done with it. I, like most parents I'm sure don't do well with illness. Colds are tolerable but stomach things and fevers and infections....blah. I can't help but go over all the things I didn't get done or should have maintained etc. in the land of what if's. What if I'd given us better food this week? What if I'd cleaned that sink sooner? I know I can't blame myself and that sickness is a normal part of living and of being. But I can't help but wonder how such a healthy child for his first two years has had such a bad third, riddled with illness. Unlucky, or maybe it's just how years progress ebbing and flowing with health and illness. Also as I write this I have a profound thankfulness for the fact that each of these sicknesses has been a virus or bacterial infection and we have not had to battle something more serious. For the courageous parents that face severe disease in their family I salute you all. One day at a time, one hour, one minute...the parenting motto that never stops being true.

Also this week I am so relieved about this,

Worried about this and still thinking about how good this was.

I've got some chicken soup starting on the stove and hope to be back in this space by the weekend if not before.

of books and lists

2011-09-09T15:56:00.000-07:00

As I mentioned last week (how did a week go by between posts? Goodness....) there are lists forming. I'm trying to get a more dependable schedule happening. I have not been a very scheduled mom in the past almost 4 years but I'm noticing that Kyan may need more predictability in his days. I would certainly enjoy a bit less chaos, negotiating and whining as well. After reading some more about the nature of kids, and finally bending to parenting reading that I've already done I've decided to make us a time line.
Since we have an almost 6 month old in our family the time line is done in 2 hour stretches and will of course be subject to change. But as I said we've never tried this before and if it doesn't work we can bid it farewell, but if it does then great.

I also decided this week to add one morning of home pre-school to our week. When I say morning I mean an hour Tuesday morning with a themed "lesson". I'll share more on our adventures with this idea in the future. So given the amount of lists and planning I've been fitting in here and there I noticed many books lying around the house.

Hopefully I'll be adding regular blogging time to the schedule as well.

There are even more piles that didn't make the photos. Dave's, cookbooks, and Ky's.

Books and lists and books and lists. I haven't been dreaming of them yet but they fill my waking hours for now.

A list of the books pictured here:

2012 Polestar Planner (I still have the 2011 for now)

Teaching Montessori in the Home: The Pre-School Years

Creative Play for Your Toddler: Steiner Waldorf Expertise and Toy Projects for 2 - 4s

Steady Days: A Journey Toward Intentional, Professional Motherhood

The Pillow Book: Over 25 Simple-to-Sew Patterns for Every Room and Every Mood

The English Patient

teeth & tantrums

2011-09-02T11:21:00.000-07:00

This week has been about a rhythm that is slowly forming around our little nest. Elliott's first teeth are slowly pushing through the gums, we are learning just how important a reliable bedtime is for Kyan's 3 year old self (hence the second t word in the title). Dave is jogging on a regular schedule and I am working in sewing time and yoga time. Kyan starts pre-school in a couple of weeks so we are clinging to the last few days of official summer. This time of year always brings a sense of balance to me.
This year it is a groggy and often exhausted balance but I want to savor it none-the-less. As the busy season of autumn approaches I can't help but turn to list making to help me. This season is full of birthdays, outings, celebrations, making and buying gifts, and oh, so many firsts for the little guy. To top it all off this year we will also have a wedding to attend and a milestone birthday party all in the same two week period as Yule, Solstice and Ky's birthday. Oh and of course I want to plan Elliott's naming ceremony and do something for the Equinox this month.
It is hard to believe that we have been living in this home now for over a year and while things are coming along nicely in the decor and organizing department there is still a list of things to do in that regard as well.
Let's face it, I'll always have lists of things to do.....but between the lines of the lists is where the magical moments happen. Every day around 4 pm I've been stopping the daily work and just laying on the floor playing with my kids. I think we are all getting some grounding out of it. Some rest and connection time before Dada gets home from his day.
We are reading more, listening to music more, watching less t.v and in some blissful moments sleeping more (or trying to). I've been rediscovering old loves: swimming, dancing in the kitchen, and wearing pretty clothes that fit. And dreaming of future possibilities once I have more "me" time.
I welcome you September in all your orange spice glory. The wheel keeps turning us through and teaching us too.

Book of the Month: August

2011-08-31T10:53:00.000-07:00

I mentioned the book Radical Homemakers: Reclaiming Domesticity from a Consumer Culture already this month but thought it deserved a more dedicated post. Reading this book brought me to a new understanding of how people everywhere are choosing to live their own lives in the wake of a culture that moves more and more towards consumerism. We are told to consume more stuff and how can we do that but to work and work constantly? Well we could use credit of course and many of us do but we all know where we end up eventually in that scenario.
This book tells the stories of people who have chosen to live differently. Consciously deciding that for them two or more cars, fancy houses and fast paced lives are not what fulfills them. Instead they adhere to the four tenants in the year 2000 document The Earth Charter which outlines principles for a sustainable way of life. Following these would support a life-serving economy rather than the exploitative one we have today:

1. Respect and care for the community of life
2. Ecological integrity
3. Social and economic justice
4. Democracy, nonviolence and peace

Shannon Hayes wrote this book in a way that gives the reader time to pause and reflect personal values while also relating or not to the many examples of American people living their version of Radical homemaking or what some are calling a return to homesteading. This is about re-learning skills that our ancestors used for survival but many of us have long since lost. Baking our own bread, fixing a leaky faucet, growing our food, making our own clothes, making our own entertainment...the list is endless.

"Healing our planet, our hearts and our bodies, bringing peace to our society, finding happiness, social justice and creative fulfillment, all begin by turning our attention first to our homes. But it does not end there. Reclaiming our domestic skills is the starting point; our continued happiness, creative fulfillment, and further healing of our society and planet requires that we look beyond the back door and push ourselves to achieve more. It is not enough to just go home and put down roots; we must also cultivate tendrils that reach out and bring society along with us."

Many of us misinterpret what being a homemaker today is. We think living in a modern world means that we have to strive for success in the sense of demanding careers, ladder climbing, and being busy to the point of hectic lives. There are many versions of being a homemaker, as many as there are people. But at its core the term is for those who see the value of life as being enjoyed in the little things: wholesome food, handmade gifts, knowing your neighbours, and supporting the causes that you believe in. This is not about perfection but connection, living and being present in our lives and not getting caught up in a culture that chews up and spits out many of us before we realize what's happening.

Learning about time with collage

2011-08-25T16:17:00.000-07:00

I have a new post over at Pagan Parenting Resource Blog.

Hello all!
I wanted to share a little project that my 3 year old and I did recently. He has developed an interest in time: "When will I be 4?"
"When will it snow?"
"When does soccer class start?"....click here for more

What's that you said?

2011-08-23T20:12:00.000-07:00

This post has been running through my head now for several weeks. To be honest I thought I had already written it....upon further investigation I have not. There was a bit about it here, but today I want to talk frankly and openly about a little topic called feminism.
The movement towards social justice for 52% of the population is always an undercurrent of my writing. I'm sure if you have read this blog for a while you have noticed it between the lines of what I'm saying, or maybe you haven't and that's what got me thinking that this post was important. Perhaps I appear to be a blinders on stay-at-home mom, happily making dinner while her man makes the money and abandoning my personal ambitions for the betterment of my family. Those who know me personally would never assume that, but how can I know for sure what readers (a.k.a strangers for the most part) would conclude? For the most part I don't care about the perceptions of others but in this case I feel that for the sake of this movement that I consider myself a card carrying member of I must write this post and record for my own historical records where I stand and how I call myself what some would say are two conflicting terms.

"In my second year of University I took a Woman Studies class. I had always been one of those women who said: "I'm not a feminist, but..." I had conformed to the view of feminists that is stereotypical in North America; man hating, angry women. Taking that first Women Studies class changed who I believed myself to be. So much rang true and spoke to the deepest part of my self. And the phrase "The personal is political" made sense to me. The interconnection between all parts of self and how the outside world related back through that. I worked a Women Studies class into each following semester. And the more I read feminist theory the closer I came to the Goddess Spirituality Movement through images of Goddess art. I was pursuing a degree in Fine Art. My art began to reflect my journey. I was re-inventing myself. Stripping away years of society's conditioning to find who I really was."

I wrote that 3 years ago. I have now been a stay-at-home mom for almost 4 years and I am learning more and more every day that "The personal is political" is so much more than a catch phrase. I believe that the many thousands of women and men who worked to give me a choice of how to live my life deserve to be honoured and I honour them. Today feminism is not only needed but is lacking momentum as this documentary chronicles. My generation and the one just ahead have lapsed into a complacency that startles me. But there is so much entangled with woman's rights and social justice. Consumerism, racism, environmentalism, economic woes, religious extremism...it all jumbles together. Radical Homemakers: Reclaiming Domesticity from a Consumer Culture contains the closest new decoding of all these things into a cohesive thought for me. I see my choice today as a radical departure from the mainstream idea of what being an empowered woman means. It doesn't mean that I have to put my kids in daycare and work for a paycheck to be an equal. Many of my close friends and family have made that choice and I respect their decisions based on what is right for their families. Choice is key here. Single parents don't often have the same range of choices available, in short there are as many ways to raise your family as there are families. But for us, for me, this life of making a home, being a full time mom and in some capacity making art is what works right now.
Feminism is the means through which this life is possible. I think of my life as a spectrum of choices. Today I make my family and the work of maintaining my priority. 5 years from now there will be another dynamic. Our home life will need more balance between Dave and I as I move towards charting a career. But for now we work in roles that fall back to a time before feminism offered an alternative choice for women and men's roles. On the surface they are the same but underneath they are very different and evolving every day.
The need for feminists, women and men who want equal rights and justice is real. If you happen to fall into the category of persons who say things like: "Feminism is obsolete," I beg to differ and I offer these oh, so western examples of why that is not true.

Judge rules rape victim's clothes and behavior ease the blame on her attacker

Number of women in Canadian Parliament

Wage gap between men and women

Domestic violence death statistics

For these reasons and countless others I am a feminist. For the future generations of women and men, for my sons, for my nephew, for the earth, for the millions of people who are treated badly because of their sex, their sexuality, or their choices to live their truth. If you agree then say so, if you want to change it then do. Live your truth as a free thinker, an empowered person and a citizen of this earth.

"The future depends entirely on what each of us does every day; a movement is only people moving."
-Gloria Steinem

my full moon

2011-08-16T11:48:00.000-07:00

I love to hear the variations of names for each month's full moon. Corn moon, Sturgeon moon, Grain, Red...the list of names for August's is probably as long as there are tribes all over the world who honoured the moon's light. I decided that this moon's energy was perfect for a small ritual of empowerment. I used the essence of four runes and the elements, along with the full moon to charge four objects for each family member. While each of us needs something different our collective bond grows stronger each day. Becoming a family unit, the weaving of our threads together, happens naturally without much effort but I can't see how helping that along is a bad thing. When things feel at loose ends or too chaotic I appreciate the ability to focus our intent. My object was the Carnelian broach in the photo above (also blogged about here). I asked for stamina and for wisdom in finding small moments for myself. I opened with a dedication to the moon stating my intent. Following that I called on the qualities from each rune we needed and then I raised energy by chanting a poem on page 63 of A Victorian Grimoire: Romance - Enchantment - Magic. Then I charged the objects one by one, consecrating them as I went and recited a small closing. Simple without any bells and whistles. It's all about the baby steps around here....

Art of the Month: summer gifts

2011-08-14T11:23:00.000-07:00

You may remember a photo here and there about these little drawstring bags of mine. They are simple but pretty and functional which to me is always a winning combination. So recently I added two more to my little grouping sending one to Heidi Dawn and the other was a gift for Heidi Joy. I am blessed to have these two women as friends. Collectively we are all mothers to 2 boys each, artists, thinkers, and conscious citizens of this planet.

While they share the same name these ladies have different colour essences to me. One whimsical with the other more delicate. Making these bags is a kind of create therapy for me since if undisturbed I can make one in an hour or less. With typical mama interruptions a day will suffice so I still get the satisfaction of a completed project or two. These bags usually arrive filled with chocolate, other artist's creations or other special treats.

Little gifts are important for mamas. They fill up gaps in time that we miss spending with our friends, and when used remind us of that person or our memories of who we were and who we could be in the future.

four & five

2011-08-09T11:11:00.000-07:00

Keeping track of Elliott's first year on the blog seemed simple at the idea stage but since my blogging moments are few and far between I feel like content is suffering a bit from all the updates I tend to be doing these days. But rest assured friends it will get more diverse as time progresses.

As I write E has his second cold. It's extent is hard to determine as is often the case with babies. Stuffy nose, goopy eyes, some coughing and restless sleeping (which of course adds up to a tired mama).

This baby is a mover though, he wants to chase his big bro already. He "talks" a lot, is rolling from back to tummy and pushing up on his hands with his very strong arms. He is close to sitting up and is several months ahead of his age in clothing size.

Since summer decided to arrive he is enjoying rolling on blankets under a sun umbrella at the beach and taking stroller and Ergo carrier naps in the fresh air. He is also bonding with friends and family and smiling lots and laughing too. Let's just say when he's happy he shines as brightly a the sun.

Tales from my Garden: summer heat

2011-08-04T10:33:00.000-07:00

The sun and heat have arrived on the west coast. And the garden is alive and growing. As a novice gardener I think things are coming along nicely...but let's be honest it can change at a moment's notice. First things first I wanted to show you the front garden which is finally "finished" for this year anyway.

From the enormous Hostas in the front you can see one perspective. I should have taken the photo when the Lupine was in bloom it was a lovely pink. The Rhubarb has grown happy stalks, the Primroses are bushy, we planted two fern varieties, Great Masterwort and some Impatiens for colour.

I am pleased with how the strip of river stones turned out. (once the trike is parked elsewhere they'll have more impact I think) And I'm on the lookout for a gnarled piece of wood to put between the Hostas at the back and the ferns.

As for the back patio the Paul Robeson tomatoes are fruiting. Only flowers from the Brandywines yet.

We've been happily snacking on sugar snap peas.

Watching gorgeous spaghetti squash blooms turn solid.

And I'm anticipating a happy harvest of our Yolo Wonder green peppers.

I've been browsing Sugar Snaps and Strawberries: Simple Solutions for Creating Your Own Small-Space Edible Garden and it's a lovely book. Dave informed me the other day that we need more plants out there....so I'm formulating a plan for next summer and this fall as well. Despite summer's late arrival we're happy it's finally here.

food instead of sun

2011-07-29T14:44:00.000-07:00

I had some goals for this summer. One of them was to be at the beach a lot. The weather decided that as of the end of July I would only have been to the beach twice and no swimming has taken place. Making the best of things I have been cooking and baking and putting up food for the winter months.

There has been fresh raspberry chocolate chip muffins, banana pecan bread, parsley pesto, farmer's market lemon tarts with whipped cream and fresh blueberries, basil popcorn, chocolate chip cookies, radish dip, and homemade (still in perfecting mode) creamsicles. I am rather obsessed with all things lemon right now whether it's lemonade, yogurt or the said tarts. So whether the sun is shining or not the eating around here has been good. Despite the lack of beach whether my garden is growing along nicely and I'll be back soon with an update on it. Here's to a weekend of good food no matter what the weather.

Book of the Month: July

2011-07-26T14:13:00.000-07:00

I think I've mentioned before that I'm a Starhawk fan. I haven't read all of her books but the ones I have read were important steps on my spiritual path. The Fifth Sacred Thing Starhawk's first work of fiction remains a magical story to me. It takes the reader on a journey into an ideal city that was so poignant to me when I read it 11 years ago that it has stayed with me. I borrowed it when I read it back in university and just bought it because it will hopefully soon be made into a movie. Starhawk is in the process of raising funds and putting together what must be a huge team of talented people to make this pagan work of fiction into a film. Such a great endeavor and I can't wait to see it. In the mean time though I'm going to read it again. There are several places to visit to read more and help out:

Starhawk's blog

Kickstarter fundraising page (including a trailer for the movie)

Facebook page

After reading this you should also check out the prequel called: Walking to Mercury

My go-to stone

2011-07-15T16:22:00.001-07:00

Over the years I've written about my relationship with semi-precious stones. I have more stones than I've written about but something happened recently that sparked my desire to write about these earrings.

Blue Chalcedony is the stone. And since I purchased these earrings, 6 years ago now they have helped me through many a stressful situation. Chalcedony is a form of Agate which is believed to have been formed millions of years ago during volcanic eruptions. It comes in several different colours. I love this pale blue and the translucent quality it has.

A few weeks ago I went to remove these earrings before bed and noticed that I only had one on. The day had been long and I was distraught. What would I do without these? I made a half-hearted search due to my weariness and just put the other one away and went to bed. If I would have looked closer when I placed the one into my little wooden earring box I would have noticed that the other one was in there...I must have removed it earlier in the evening. I was so glad when I found both of them safely waiting in their box the next time I wanted them. It may be silly to be so attached to a pair of earrings, but I take my stones seriously and I appreciate them, especially in jewelry form.

Blue Chalcedony can be used in working with the throat chakra. It is ruled by the moon and is linked to the zodiac signs of Cancer and Capricorn. It imparts feelings of optimism and promotes creativity. As a healing stone it helps the immune system, has anti-inflammatory properties and lowers blood pressure and body temperature. I wear these earrings when I feel like I need calmness and centering. I do consider it my go-to stone.

Poem of the Month: July memories

2011-07-11T15:58:00.000-07:00

12 summers ago I drove across Canada with a former boyfriend. It was a cross off of my bucket list and I wrote from time to time in a small handmade journal. This poem came from watching rolling hills somewhere in Saskatchewan, the above photo didn't.

July 31, 1999

in her golden dress

she dances on the clouds

the vast blue is her blanket

the rolling hills her home

she is the prairie

nourishment's name

time, time, time...

2011-07-08T09:14:00.000-07:00

see what's become of me...do you know that song? This version was going through my head when I wrote that. Not seasonally appropriate granted but the sentiment works for this moment. This week has been busy, some of us have taken big steps towards independence, there have been meetings, weeding, planting, growing, sunshine and rain. Full on, it's been full on.

with a backpack that is too big (I carried it for him after this photo was taken) my 3 and a half year old big boy went to his first pre-school class this week. Pre-school playtime is what it is called, the theme this week being teddy bear picnic. He was a bit hesitant but there were no tears when I left (on his part). He was brave and felt secure enough to enjoy his time there, not wanting to leave 2 hours later when I returned to get him. It was hard to leave him. I was very emotional about it and in a way I still am. Friends have assured me that it gets easier every time you drop them off. I'm not sure that the pace of this growing up thing will work with the pace of mama's heartstrings but I'll be alright. What was/is important to Dave and I is that he is ready. We may never be. There are flashes of time as a parent when your child's life flashes before your eyes, not just the past but the future steps as well. And that is very full on. And that happened this week.

Rhubarb forever

2011-06-29T19:27:00.000-07:00

There has been some wonderful rhubarb writings in blogland these last few weeks. I am a lover of rhubarb truth be told. It still grows behind the barn on the farm I grew up on. Rhubarb butterscotch pie is my absolute favorite kind of pie (no strawberries needed!) and I was treated to it twice when home this June. My mom made one and my grandmother made one. I also tasted my mom's rhubarb relish this year and it is really good with meat. Rhubarb is that versatile. In the interest of making my front garden edible as well as lovely to look at I have planted an heirloom variety rhubarb there with the name Victoria (three guesses as to who it is named after). This vegetable needs to be left alone the first year it is planted so no harvesting this year but I can wait for something this good.

This plant is nice to look at too which is a bonus to it being so tasty. I wanted to share the wonderful writings I've come across about it this year:

growing rhubarb tips

how to grow it and a recipe for rhubarb crumble

rhubarb muffin recipe

Spread the rhubarb love around. Eating in season is so rewarding to the taste buds!

creatively speaking

2011-06-25T09:13:00.000-07:00

That ever elusive spark called inspiration strikes one when you'd least expect. I both love and hate that. Love because it sends me places full of ideas and artistic dreams, and hate because it usually happens when the day's chores are stretched out before me with no end in sight.
I know that I can choose to ignore them and make things. Sometimes I do. It rarely happens though when you have a young baby. They just seem to need you at the exact moment you were about to begin. But as the story has gone since the beginning of time...babies cease to be such in a very short time. So I dream, take notes (mostly in my head) and let inspiration flow through me without being fulfilled.
A new (to me) blog that I'm loving is Spirit Cloth. It follows the work of artist Jude Hill from New York state. Just glorious embroidery and cloth work. She often lets cloth stain under leaves, flowers and such. I've been admiring the delicate patterns and how Jude layers her work building a piece in such an organic way.
Some imagery that is inspiring and comical at the same time here. Don't you love the teamwork? It's amazing how relevant the chores and fashion are to today's homesteader movement. Classics never go out of style.
Yesterday Heidi Joy and I spent time at the fabric store. It is such a pleasure to talk fabric, compare projects and enjoy her company. I am making new pillows for our living room which is almost complete! Photos to follow in few months (let's be realistic here).
Well my time for reveling in the creative world has come to a close for now. I've had little snippets here and there for the past three months and soon there will be more time. Here's to the inspiration of summer, cloth and circa 1940's farm girl models. Happy weekend to you.

Tales from my garden

2011-06-22T19:39:00.000-07:00

I thought I must get around to posting this garden update because the photos are already two weeks old and the plants are growing like crazy. The above photo's flower emerged from a pot I planted last year with a wildflower mix of seeds. If anyone knows what it is please leave a comment. The fragrance from this one is lovely.

Here are the tomatoes, peas, and green peppers. Both tomato plants are blossoming and the spaghetti squash is getting big and leafy at this point. It's amazing what a difference two weeks can make. Despite the weather taking its time to get warm the plants are progressing. Being out on the patio is a pleasure with bees and birds and sunshine for company.

Book of the Month: June

2011-06-16T09:37:00.000-07:00

As a book of the month goes this one is the hardest I've had to read. Dave bought this one day and as a vegetarian turned meat eater it seemed to make sense as a choice for him. I heard Foer on Sierra Club Radio and I thought his perspective as a Jewish vegetarian father on a journey through the factory farm industry sounded very compelling. Compelling is the least of it. Eating Animals is a book that takes you there...that place that is uncomfortable, sadistic and scary. Do you know what the animals you eat have gone through? Do you eat them and want to avoid thinking about it? I will admit that I often do. At home we eat organic meats, Foer explains that organic has little to do with how the animals are ultimately treated. The farmers that Foer interviews are doing their best to live up to different standards though none of them could convince the author to become an omnivore. There were moments I had to put this book down. I've seen some anti-meat industry videos of downed cows and animals in tiny cages just waiting to be killed for human dinner tables. The realities are unbelievable. How could humans treat any living creature this way?

There is a current of bias on Foer's part that he bases on the three years of research he did while writing the book. While he visited many farms and slaughterhouses and was given tours he also went to factory farms with activists in secret. But there is a difference if you grow up on a farm. By that I mean you are closer to the life and death cycle and you live with the animals every day. The author made his choice of what to eat based on his values and his judgments regarding the degree of pain animals are subjected to. As middle to upper class North Americans we have the privilege to choose not to eat animals. He briefly brings up worldwide diets but more in relation to sustaining meat consumption on the scale Americans are at today. He also doesn't touch on the health factors raised in Nourishing Traditions: The Cookbook that Challenges Politically Correct Nutrition and the Diet Dictocrats.

This book is worth reading if you care about what you eat. Factory farming is horrendous and needs to be abolished. How omnivores reconcile their choices effects the existence of these "farms". This book will help you if you want to be a responsible consumer and a responsible diner.

Month three: in retrospect

2011-06-10T15:23:00.000-07:00

The third month of E's life went by in quite a blur. There was a trip, his first cold, lots of gas, crying and spitting-up, a smile that is slow to emerge but once it gets there is huge, attempts at organization and several days and evenings of giving up trying. To be honest the only concrete thing I remember about Kyan at this age was me sitting and rocking him. I would do that for hours as he slept. It was blissful and yet I know I did other things somehow, I just can't remember how. So while Ky evolves in to a more and more complex 3 year old, Elliott is leaving behind the small, curled part of newborn land for the chubby giggles of infancy. Today he reached out in his bouncy seat and purposefully touched the dangling toys. I delighted for him and my heart felt a pang at the same time because already he has left that tiny freshness for the next phase.

I must admit that I've had a few moments this week in which I felt like this or wanted to go here or just be anywhere but in this house with two or sometimes three unhappy beings as companions. Someone dear to me often says: This is what you signed up for and often I bow my head to that. I am a deeply optimistic person and so it's rare that I feel like the light at the end of the tunnel is out of reach but tgif has a great ring to it this week, that's for sure. In these rough moments of parenthood and adulthood I often take the time to count the good things and be grateful for we never know when something really horrible could happen to shake our world that makes these smaller moments seem insignificant.

I hope if Elliott or Kyan ever read these posts when they are adults they will know how loved they are and how hard their dad and I worked to give them the best and be the best for them. That is all we can do in the end and all I could ever ask of them in return. Here's to the weekend and a clean slate. I know I am not alone and we will move past this moment one step at a time.

last week we...

2011-06-08T16:00:00.000-07:00

searched for frogs in overflowing brooks

buried two placentas in a sugar maple grove

became re-acquainted with a certain loved cow

recorded for posterity the simple beauty around us

celebrated birthdays and blessings with family

met with old friends and family and made some new ones too

it was over far too quickly but sometimes memories are made that way. i vow to stay longer next time and have more time to soak in the love.

Art of the Month: May

2011-05-29T08:00:00.000-07:00

Here is the quilt/blanket I was hinting at two posts ago. It is a gift for my nephew. The pattern is from Bend-the-Rules Sewing: The Essential Guide to a Whole New Way to Sew. I didn't make the template as large as suggested, which I would do next time and she also recommended washing it afterward which I didn't read until after I pre-washed the fabric...alas mommy brain strikes again. I loved the tops and yo-yos on the fabric. They say child without driving you crazy with colour or pattern overload.

It is possible to do this in a day if you don't have an infant and 3 year old since there is no piecing involved. The center is a cotton flannel and it comes together fairly well. Hopefully it will meet with a 6 month old's approval :)

the end of an era

2011-05-26T08:47:00.000-07:00

Please indulge my little journey down former television addict lane. Yesterday as I'm sure you know was the last Oprah show. As everyone has kept reminding me Oprah's influence in the world is certainly not disappearing. But the vehicle of her show which has brought countless hours of change to the world is no longer in its original format. Weekdays at 4 p.m are altered forever. I wouldn't call myself an ultimate viewer but the show spanned 25 years and definitely influenced the way I see the world today. Oprah's fundamental message of finding your true self and living from that place is one that I share. And I applaud the work she does and her charity efforts. She has put her money where her values are. It seems strange to me that my kids will not see her show as a part of their formative years....perhaps it is just another reminder of how time moves forward whether we are ready or not.

Book of the Month: May

2011-05-23T09:09:00.000-07:00

Since this time of year it seems that everyone who has a garden is in it and even if you don't garden you can't escape the new life all around I've chosen The Secret Garden by Frances Hodgson Burnett as book of the month. I read it for the first time earlier this spring and after seeing the The Secret Garden (1993) film several times, the book was even more magical. Set during the 19th century the story follows a young girl raised by emotionally distant parents who is orphaned and sent to live with an unknown uncle in England. When she is forced to explore in nature she begins a transformation and therein lies the theme of the story. This book is targeted towards young adults but I think any nature lover would enjoy it.

spring love

2011-05-20T17:16:00.000-07:00

Just some images of the love that is blooming all around us. The sun is finally here for a few days in a row. And is much needed I might add.

cousin love (shhh..it's a surprise)

brother love (making mama's heart melt)

bubble love with new friends

clothesline love

first patio art session of the season love

and first picnic at the park love

happy weekend!

Tales from my Garden 2011

2011-05-14T21:21:00.000-07:00

I am pleased to bring back my gardening adventures with a whole new space to fill up. My gardening square footage has increased and hopefully my outcomes will prove more successful this season. After blessing seeds for Imbolc I am trying to promptly get them into pots and the ground. But first things first, I cleared out the front plot and am trying to plan the layout.

The back area against the house will have river stones since we were discouraged from planting anything closer than 18 inches from the foundation (due to Carpenter ants).

I pulled apart a humongous Hosta and planted parts of it at the rear. They are hearty and love shade or part sun. Only the first 4 to 5 feet of the garden gets direct sun.

My plans for herbs are growing Lavender, Basil and Calendula from seed. If I purchase some seedlings as well parsley is the only definite so far. I've been consulting A Place in the Rain: Designing the West Coast Garden and of course Internet sources. I think I may also reference Sugar Snaps and Strawberries: Simple Solutions for Creating Your Own Small-Space Edible Garden once I return from a vacation to Quebec in two weeks.

And as for my other edible plans my heat drenched south facing balcony is going to house some Heirloom tomatoes and is currently germinating some green peas. I'm also going to attempt some squash and green peppers. Ambitious you say? Well, yes it is. But it's all about trial and error and finding out what works in our new home. I'll certainly be busy this summer but for me it's a fun busy when it comes to playing in the dirt!

refresh

2011-05-02T10:08:00.000-07:00

With Beltaine's energy filling us all I felt an altar update was necessary. I finally have a little shelf all my own to use as an altar in the otherwise chaotic sewing room/office. For the last two months it has looked like this:

My birthing altar. It held my drawing intention spell from Imbolc, a photo of the Damien Hirst Pregnant woman statue, my moon cord, two oil anointed candles also made on Imbolc, 4 cards from my Celestial Tarot deck: the ten of pentacles, Spring (Princess of Pentacles) for Elliott's birth season, and both the Aries (Emperor) and Pisces (Moon) cards because I wasn't sure what sign he would be. Also included was a stone from my family farm, a piece off volcanic rock from Hawaii, a white pentacle for grounding, and a photo of an interpretation of Gaia. There were various other stones and the contents from my witches ladder which was done before Kyan's birth.

Now that the holiday of love is here I thought it wise to change it up. Beltaine is also special to me because 8 years ago I began dating Dave around this time, so the love factor is doubled for me.

I wanted something simple: a wedding photo, lovers statue, the Venus (Empress) card from Celestial Tarot, a romantic art card and some feathers. Birds herald the sexy spring to me. The most glorious part of my day yesterday was sitting rocking Elliott while listening to the birds sing outside. It was warm and sunny, just a lovely day. I hope your's was too.

Month two: Get 'er done

2011-04-25T20:38:00.000-07:00

While month one of Elliott's life was all about being gentle in the family's approach, month two has a different energy for me. Things are needing to get done. Laundry, basics like the kitchen, vacuuming, the bathroom and even the fun stuff. Last week fun stuff took priority and everything else went to pot. And so Get 'er done....that is this month's motto.

The state of my kitchen this morning:

I learned last week that you can sew table cloths for your co-op Easter brunch (don't ask me why I volunteered for this right now...I just wanted to sew :) with a little one in a carrier and a three year old using the fabric as an ocean for his Little People.

special gifts for the midwife who caught the baby can be made....even if a normal half hour project takes three instead

And a trike can be decorated for an Easter parade in the span of ten minutes....

This month will be about trying to set a few new rhythms for the family to create some stability for us all. But for the most part making things happen will be the goal. It won't often be pretty or easy I'm sure but that's ok life rarely is.

Book of the Month: April

2011-04-21T10:07:00.000-07:00

I had been waiting a while to read Simplicity Parenting: Using the Extraordinary Power of Less to Raise Calmer, Happier, and More Secure Kids and so I'm pleased to write that I managed to do that this month. Breastfeeding every hour and a half all day certainly helps with the reading list. Kim John Payne approaches parenting from a Waldorf trained perspective and counsels families towards a more grounding home life. He covered lots of area in this book and set out principals that are simple in theory if not so much in practice. I agreed with many of his guidelines and think that many families would benefit from creating predictable patterns, removing the clutter of too many toys and "stuff" and reducing the overall screen time in the home. I plan to go through the book again before returning it to the library and take some notes to keep myself mindful of this philosophy. It definitely echoes many of my parenting goals.

all about orange

2011-04-15T20:40:00.000-07:00

My eldest son is quite the guy for opinions and preferences. ( I don't know where he gets that from...) Only being 3 years old is no barrier to his taste in colour. Red was his first love and it lasted quite a long time. We had a red potty, red toys, red flowers were popular and of course red trains were the best. Next there was a brief flirtation with blue and some fondness for "lellow" which remains popular. But these days at our house it's all about orange.

Orange paint, crayons and paper are requested.

An orange rose was the inspiration to get mama flowers

And this shirt is what he'd like to be wearing every day. Cups, plates, pj's the orange ones are most popular.
I want to remember the love of something as simple as a colour. Despite the fact that it can often make my life slightly more difficult.

Fair Pay

2011-04-12T10:13:00.000-07:00

Today marks the third annual Blog for Fair Pay Day sponsored by National Women's Law Center and MomsRising.org. The theme for this year is "Stop Discounting Women." The average working woman in the U.S catches up to what her male counter part made in 2010 today. This issue seems unbelievable to my generation, perhaps that is why it continues. Women often complain that we no longer need feminism, that long ago anger at lack of access. Why then do you not get paid fairly? Who is going to stand up for you and make the people responsible for this gap change? At the most basic level woman working in North America today should be paid at the same level as men for equivalent work. It continues to baffle me that this is not dealt with swiftly by legislation. Although I realize that swiftly and legislation is an oxymoron.

For more information on how you can help to change this visit the links above.

I stand today in solidarity with women across the globe who are discounted for their work. Who have to prove themselves twice as much, juggle the many hats we tend to wear, and still face glass ceilings and gender barriers. I stand as a woman who has chosen a different path, but is grateful that I had that choice, as I'm grateful for the women and men who fought for my right to choose it.

Our generation can fix this and move into a new era of equality that benefits both sexes and shows future generations that we cared enough to spare them the same fate.

this moment

2011-04-08T11:42:00.000-07:00

{this moment} - A Friday ritual. A single photo - no words - capturing a moment from the week. A simple, special, extraordinary moment. A moment I want to pause, savor and remember. SouleMama

Month one: eat, sleep, love, repeat

2011-03-29T10:14:00.000-07:00

Yesterday my mom flew home and I was left here on my own with our new family dynamic. I didn't set high expectations. Meals have been made, snacks eaten, both boys had baths last night and this morning we are dressed. Laundry is happening... so far so good I'd say. I was reading through The Baby Book: Everything You Need to Know About Your Baby from Birth to Age Two and Dr. Sears says that the first month is about holding your little one and loving them. I've worked that down to this little mantra: eat, sleep, love, repeat. Managing that is going to be my goal for this first month. We are almost at the two week mark with little man and getting to know him is wonderful. Slowly we are finding a new normal but nothing even close to a rhythm is forming. I don't feel pressure to create one. Right now we are just going to be.

Welcome

2011-03-21T14:49:00.000-07:00

Elliott is here.

We love him. He arrived on March 16th at 5:30. Labor was fast, I'll write out some details sometime soon. Our little family has been a bit under the weather at the same time as welcoming our new member so words for me these days are in short supply. I'm trying to rest, help Ky with this change and heal. I'll be back here with more regularity in the coming weeks. Until then I wish you all a happy spring.

a series to share

2011-03-11T08:21:00.000-08:00

This week has been a bit busy and lazy at the same time. While Ky and I battle for a morning routine that makes us both happy (and believe me using the world battle is not an understatement), Dave adjusts to earlier mornings and taking transit every day. There have been pangs that seemed to herald the beginning of something labor related only to fade away after a few hours. We have a busy weekend planned with visits and meals with friends. I don't want to just sit around and wait for the baby man to make his entrance so we have made lots of fun plans to keep us distracted.
One lovely distraction I discovered this week is the series Conscious Pregnancy, Empowering Birth by life coach and intuitive consultant Julie Cusmariu. She works out of Montreal and is a woman after my own heart. She releases blog talk radio interviews that reflect her life transitions. She did a conscious marriage series last year after tying the knot (which I am interested in listening to as well) and now is doing this pregnancy series in her third trimester. If you are pregnant or interested in birth issues in our culture I would recommend checking these out. She has all the finished episodes archived on the site. Yesterday I listened to her interview with Dr. Christiane Northrup of Women's Bodies, Women's Wisdom (Revised Edition): Creating Physical and Emotional Health and Healing fame and Pam England and Virginia Bobro of Birthing from Within: An Extra-Ordinary Guide to Childbirth Preparation fame. Both interviews were great.
My heart goes out to those in Japan dealing with the effects of this earthquake and tsunami. The world is turning at its usual pace, overwhelming as that pace is. I hope you are finding moments of peace despite it all.

out of the loop

2011-03-07T19:26:00.000-08:00

I wouldn't say I'm up on the newest books being published, so today while walking by the bookstore I was elated to see that they had released a new printing of Jean Auel's Earth's Children series. I share a love of this series with family and friends and the last book was released in 2002....the next one is being released at the end of March. The Land of Painted Caves is it's title. The world that these books create is magical and so entertaining to journey through. Auel takes liberties with pre-history and I really don't mind. Isn't it the job of the artist to take liberties and create something entertaining, thought provoking and enriching? Yes. And there is even a trailer for the book.

I hope if you are a fan of these books you are as excited as I am. If you've never read them and you like epic stories of an inspiring heroine you should really check them out.

Poem of the Month: March

2011-03-04T17:33:00.000-08:00

New in your Wake

At a time of Spring's forthcoming fresh snow

has made a blanket on the earth

My belly pulls, the skin taunt over you

you move with purpose, strong and getting stronger

It seems that timing is a challenge these days

We try to get over illness, start new adventures

and all the while we wait

for you

Your brother sniffles again, he will be a good brother

to you

devoted, loving and I expect protective

He is still little, still a baby to us

and yet you will be the baby now

Who are we as you arrive

A family of 3

A man meeting the challenge of supporting his family

searching for fulfillment professionally to match his

contentment with those he loves

A woman caring for her family in a new old fashioned way

an artist in her approach to life,

the family optimist and organizer

A little boy who loves trains, singing and is most

happy when we are all together,

secure in our nest

Who will you be?

The feisty one, the quiet one, the adventurer, the mystic...

All remains to be discovered

All will be new and reveal itself with time

All new in the wake of you

a little practical magic

2011-03-03T18:14:00.000-08:00

On the weekend I sewed up this little ditty. Inspired of course by the ever brilliant SouleMama who continues to amaze me with her practical sewing ideas. Head slapping, why didn't I think of that ideas like this dish rack mat. It absorbs better than tea towels, looks prettier and is homemade. What could be better. And that's my addition to the Sewing Bee this week.

family sharing

2011-03-01T20:34:00.000-08:00

The days are going to slow down a bit from here on in. I'm trying to plan activities and keep busy in little ways so that I can save my big energy for the work to come. Today I took to documenting the humble beginnings of the new little man's space. In short he's sharing everything. There will be things that will just be his, I am determined not to have him miss out on that. But if I learned anything about infants the first time around it is that they like sharing. They want to be close to others, feel sheltered, loved and safe. So while the space that is solely his is small everything will be about him for quite a while regardless. His brother is waiting, we are waiting and he'll decide when to take his place with us.

Art of the Month: February Collaborations

2011-02-26T09:30:00.000-08:00

I've been very into drawing and sketching and sewing, creating in general this pregnancy. In the last two months Kyan and I have discovered that making art together on the same piece is actually a very fun activity. It all started with this piece:

A portrait of the famous Telly Ky's favorite stuffed animal. I drew it as Ky was drawing on his own piece and then he was suddenly inspired to add his mark to mine. We've had it up on our art line in the living room for a while now and I am inspired by it still. It marks a very important stage of his growth. Telly has been everywhere with us and has faded from a sweet pastel yellow to a dull gray from being loved so much.

Our most recent collaboration is this:

A sketch I was doing to record an art idea and Ky decided to add some of his colour inspiration to the side. There was a slight hesitation in me when he decided to "draw with me" but he is careful to not obliterate what I'm doing but rather just embellish it. And I have to say that I love these. It makes me very happy that we can work together like this. The possibilities for future collaboration are endless. And soon there will be another set of ideas, and little hands to contribute as well. I love art.

Belly Update: 36 Weeks

2011-02-24T15:16:00.000-08:00

Week 36 is kicking my butt. I don't have any other, more polite way to put that. Crampy Braxton Hicks contraction things, a baby that wants to push my right stomach muscles so hard and so often that they hurt, lack of sleep, and rush like sensations in my body that at some point will turn into the real thing. There are still moments that are lovely but this boy is getting big. Many around me say I'm so small and really that is true compared to some women. Having a long torso as I do gives him lots of room lengthwise so he needs less widthwise I guess. I am hungry too. Like getting up in the middle of the night hungry....and that is huge for me. There is little that gets me out of bed in the middle of the night these days. I am doing my best to enjoy these last days/weeks of pregnancy as they will be the last I experience. I still marvel at how it takes less than a year to produce a new human being....I feel so lucky to be able to participate in this miracle regardless of how much I complain about it.

Sewing along

2011-02-17T14:47:00.000-08:00

Saturday brought about a huge feat: I finished the twelve rows in Kyan's quilt. I was as precise as I have ever been and triple measured before sewing so I'm hoping that when it comes to assembling these rows I'll have them as closely aligned as possible. Julie at Adirondack Mama: Happiness Comes is hosting a weekly Sewing Bee for sharing what you are working on from week to week. I'm so happy to share and be able to say that this part of the quilt is done and I can move on with assembling the rest of the top in the next few weeks.

I'll share more details about the pattern I'm using and the fabrics as the project progresses. Please join the sewing bee if you are a crafter/sewer. It's a great chance to share, be inspired, and stay motivated.

National Sweater Day Tomorrow

2011-02-16T11:31:00.000-08:00

I wanted to encourage you all to join in World Wildlife Fund's National Sweater Day tomorrow, February 17th. They are urging Canadians to put on a wacky sweater and turn the thermostat down 3 degrees.
I know many poo poo these actions as not making a real difference, but I am of the mind that every little bit helps. For those of us with busy lives these little steps help remind us of what's really important and it may even make us realize that we keep our thermostat too high and if we just wear a sweater in the winter we can save money on heating bills and consume less energy. My boy is somehow anti-sweaters but I'll do my best to get him in one tomorrow (and today for a little photo session)
Here is the link to the event hope you will join in.

Book of the Month: February

2011-02-15T09:00:00.000-08:00

Hopefully you all are not getting tired of my pregnancy related rambles here. The end is nigh if you are but since this will be my last pregnancy and child I thought I'd pass on as much valid information as I could to blogland. My book for this month is Wise Woman Herbal for the Childbearing Year: by Susun S. Weed. The lovely Heidi Joy passed this book on to me for use during my pregnancy. I have refered to it here and there when issues have arisen that I was interested in looking for remedies for. As the title suggests this book covers the spectrum of this journey from: "the two months before conception, the nine months of pregnancy, and the two months following the birth."

There are lovely illustrations, practical recipes for making herbal infusions or working with herbs in general and a very intuitive approach to health.

" This book speaks to the Wise Woman in you-the pregnant woman-and to the Wise Woman in your mate, lover, midwife, doctor, childbirth educator, and friends. It is based on the belief that you are capable of observing your own body, heart and mind, responding to the messages you recieve during the childbearing year, and caring for yourself in the context of loving support and assitance."

In the journey through making a new life having a resource that seeks to aide through natural remedy is a blessing in a culture that too often turns to harsh medical interventions.

baby steps

2011-02-09T14:24:00.000-08:00

Baby steps, one day at a time, I have many mantras going through my head at this time. We have been fighting a lingering cold and ear infection with Ky and today he is covered in a rash. The rash is most likely a reaction to the antibiotics but off to the doctor we go again to make sure.
These last few weeks are flying by and bringing us closer to birth day and the changes that that will bring our family. I find myself taking things very slowly in each moment. Some days bring energy and I get multiple things done and then others I get one or two things half done and I resign myself that I've done my best.
It is so funny how humans try to prepare for these things and make lists and deadlines and get things, make things, try to anticipate needs etc. and in the end all you can hope for is the grace to live up to the moments ahead. This guy will come when he is ready, demands will be made and answered and our lives will adapt, molding around his needs and finding a new normal.
The days are getting longer, at times warmer, and I feel instincts to nest. I don't feel much like venturing far these days, adventures into the unknown seem a bit too intense when stacked against what a matter of weeks will bring us. In contrast to that feeling I feel the urge to plan outings and dinners, and visits with friends to keep myself from getting lost in anticipation and frustration if things take longer than expected. Because Ky was 3 weeks early in arriving I plan to be prepared for that possibility with this guy but it remains just that a possibility.... not guarantees in this experience. Well, I guess the only guarantee is that he will come out, timing of course to be the universe's to decide.
So as we convalesce, clean, organize, entertain ourselves and wonder just who the fourth family member is going to shape up to be, I just try and get through this moment. Precious, fleeting and surreal as it may feel.

our Imbolc

2011-02-03T13:15:00.000-08:00

We anointed candles with oil, blessed seeds, walked in the woods and took photos of our bellies.
We played in the stream, made an herbal labour aide, ate salad, quiche, spinach goat cheese bread and cake.
We smudged with sage sending wishes of creativity and smooth births, we drew pictures of what the "seeds" that we wish to grow in 2011 will look like. It was a lovely day, it went by in a flash. I felt lucky to be with friends and to have celebrated what may be the last Sabbat before this little man makes his entrance. My friend Sarah who is also pregnant is due just a week or two before me. It has been very cool to share this experience with her, both the ups and the downs. I hope you all had a lovely Imbolc as well.

Thank you to the lovely Katie for taking some photos for us.

cooking evolution

2011-01-29T12:10:00.000-08:00

There has been some progress in the kitchen that I wanted to share. This time of year is rainy and chilly here on the west coast, the perfect time to indulge in soups that warm us up and keep the damp out. My staple go to soup is Red lentil and carrot. It is colourful and I can use local carrots that are still available from my grocery store.

The ingredients are simple enough and this goes well paired with burgers, sandwiches or the kale & corn griddle cakes from Cooking Like a Goddess: Bringing Seasonal Magic into the Kitchen. I also made my family's traditional Shepard's pie this week with a slight twist on the mashed potatoes, creamed corn and beef trifecta by using the Kale Mashed Potatoes recipe from How It All Vegan!: Irresistible Recipes for an Animal-Free Diet. (Ironic or sacrilegious for all the vegans out there I'm sure but I love that recipe and still use several others despite the fact that we are not vegan.)
The dinner that I was most proud of however was my own creation of Butternut Squash Coconut Milk Soup that accompanied, salad, and a cheesy garlic bread from A Bread Affair (who are my favorite bread makers in the Lower Mainland by far) This was a first in my evolution as a cook. I saw the bread at the store, thought we needed a soup to go with it. I noticed organic coconut milk on sale and then found a yummy butternut squash. I added a couple of potatoes, an onion, garlic, some some stock and to give it a slight kick some mild curry powder and voila...a very tasty soup. I used a similar recipe in Vegetarian Perfection (Hinkler Kitchen) as a guide I must admit and that is also where you'll find the recipe for the Carrot Red Lentil soup. It gave me quite a bit of satisfaction to know that I can put ingredients together with taste and memory rather than needing a recipe. Kyan and I also made some banana bran muffins with walnuts and chocolate chips this week. We froze half for breastfeeding snacks for me down the line and enjoyed the rest. All in all it was a good week in the kitchen.

out on Saturday

2011-01-25T20:52:00.000-08:00

This Saturday brought a much needed respite from mommyhood with an excursion to the Vancouver Art Gallery with a very dear friend. She had visited this exhibit and several pieces reminded her of me and so she invited me to go. We had a great time looking at art, eating crepes, and talking about our brains, how they wire themselves depending on attachment and how our lives go through stages where different aspects of who we are come to the forefront. Then I headed to the big downtown library and sat in the interior decor section because I couldn't find the sewing section and looked at books.

The first that I enjoyed was Amy Butler's Midwest Modern: A Fresh Design Spirit for the Modern Lifestyle. I wouldn't say that my/our style is midwest modern but there are elements to how she designs that are just so lovely and comfortable. Her casual pile of folded vintage tablecloths on the kitchen counter was very appealing to me. Simple, colourful and soft in a room filled with hard lines and appliances.

The other book that struck several cords with me was The Family Home: Relaxed, Informal Living for All Ages by Joanna Copestick. The designs were slightly dated since this book is over 10 years old but I loved the concept of designing for having a family rather than trying to create a home that looks like a magazine and is full of things that shouldn't be touched.

Colour, warmth and functionality were important factors in all the designs. I found the book made me think of a more European sense of design since technology was not as prominent on the pages. But of course being from over 10 years ago the techie age was not nearly as big as it is now. It's amazing how quickly flat screens in every room and digital everything has become the norm in interiors.

Another excursion I took this weekend made my living room curtain dilemma even larger since drapes are not going to work as I had planned. They would just come to close to the base electric heaters which are right below the patio doors. So plans B, C and D are in the works. I wanted to have this resolved before baby arrives since my sewing time will all but disappear but we'll see. Hopefully we'll get something that works before I am forced to tack up sheets again in the middle of a July heatwave. All in good time I'm sure, all in good time.

Book of the Month: January

2011-01-21T09:59:00.000-08:00

Since I tend to gravitate towards books that speak to where I am in each moment I checked Spiritual Midwifery by Ina May Gaskin out of the library this month. Ina May Gaskin is an innovator and activist for natural childbirth and this book chronicles the founding of The Farm and how she became a midwife. This book is mostly birth stories with a parental section and a midwife section. The birth stories tell of the births of a generation of kids who are now in their 30's and 40's. The language used is very far out and psychedelic which was amusing and transported me to a time when women were pushing boundaries that were much more rigid than the ones I face today. I was very obsessed with reading birth stories with my first pregnancy, this time I haven't been as much. Having experienced it once I am not seeking out the experiences of others. There is some God talk in this book but it wasn't enough to deter me from reading as it comes from a personal place where mothers and fathers are sharing their perspectives in their own language.

I like the way Gaskin encourages birthing women to use their internal power to create the birth reality they desire. So thinking of contractions as rushes and not thinking of pain but a sensation that you have to focus on to get through. She also encourages one to stay relaxed and loving rather than letting yourself become inflexible or mean. I like that perspective and will see if anything else that I read here comes through for me in the actual experience. I'm not putting pressure on details this time around as last time doing that didn't help me, not that I think it hindered anything since the birth was positive.
So if you are pregnant, a birth junky or professional I think this book is worth a look. It also has a great example of a community of women, men and birth professionals working together to create a culture that recognizes the sacred power of birth which is a doctrine that is lacking in today's society. Inspiring to say the least.

Belly Update: 31 weeks

2011-01-18T19:31:00.000-08:00

Tomorrow I'll be 31 weeks along on this journey. I would like to pretend that I'm all rainbows and lollipops but I can't say that I am. Words to describe how I'm feeling these days: grateful, tired, apprehensive, uncomfortable, irritated, melancholy, excited....I don't like many of those. They make me have less patience, be prone to emotional outbursts and introspective. Being pregnant is the ultimate in being introspective. I feel this little guy within me all the time. The glory of sharing your body with another is that intimacy. What I find challenging right now is that I need to be solitary and between a three old and a gestating baby I am never alone.
I can't remember feeling this way with my first pregnancy but my life was so different then that it's almost ridiculous to compare the two.
I am so blessed to have the opportunity to carry this child, to learn some of his little quirks even now without having seen his face. Getting ready for him is coming along nicely. There are some timing issues that are a bit stressful but they are completely out of my control. So what will be, will be.
If I was better at this process I may be one of those women with a brood of children. Two will be plenty, thanks. However challenging I may find pregnancy it is worth it to add this little man to our family.
Another difference this time has been that my creative impulses have been humming along. The first pregnancy I lost all interest in sewing and did no art that I can remember. This time I've felt lots of desire to sew and I've even completed 7 rows of piecing Ky's quilt together. I have another 5 and then I will piece them together along with the 4 outer pieces and be done the top. It may be too ambitious to say but I'd love to have the top done before little man makes his entry.
At 31 weeks I can say that I'm in a place of trying to keep one day at a time in mind. Get through this hour, this minute, laugh when I can, enjoy these last weeks of having just my big boy around, not let things run away in my head and of course breathe.

Art of the Month: January

2011-01-12T19:39:00.000-08:00

It's time for our next installment of the Memory Keeper Project. Here is the third block in what will be a quilt of my life. (to see block one and two) 2010 was a year when the ocean called me and I carried over an interest in Runes from 2009. Thanks to my mother-in-law giving me Runes:: Theory & Practice for a holiday gift I was able to research the Ansuz rune which seemed in the beginning of the year to herald a new year of health and cleansing.

What it ended up bringing to us though was an opening. A feeling of push and pull, two steps forward, three steps back and ultimately our family of three was faced with opening up to the addition of another soul.
I quilted a wave across the background as a homage to the cleansing of the ocean. The effect is subtle but peaceful to contemplate up close.

...A message comes to you.

Open eyes and ears

to the gods who speak

with tones loud as an avalanche,

soft as a feather's fall.

-excerpt from Modern rune poem by E. Vongvisith

Spiritually speaking.... a new year & year in review

2011-01-09T13:07:00.000-08:00

2010 spread with my Sacred Circle deck

2010 was low-key in terms of my spiritual path. The celebrations I attended or organized were simple and some like Spiral Dance were included more out of habit than by a distinct calling. As I mentioned briefly in my previous post I try not to be hard on myself about my lack of focus in that area since my life right now is very mama focused. When I felt called to do something I made the time and otherwise I let life just flow from day-to-day trying to keep each moment as connected as possible to the bigger picture.

My one serious personal ritual was making the herbal amulets made for my parents. I had a lovely walk on Imbolc and had fun with the kids on Spring Equinox. Beltaine was not really on the radar this year, Summer Solstice was spent in nature with friends. Lughnasad saw me at the height of morning sickness and moving prep. Autumn Equinox was spent outdoors in the leaves with friends and attending feasts. Samhain was introspective and Yule was peaceful.

My personal yearly tarot read was different this year as I used a new set of cards for the first time. The Wheel of the Year spread was what I used, a twelve card circle spread which is great for looking at individual pieces of your life and how they combine to form a whole. There was a lot of fire energy in the cards, some earth and a little bit of air carrying over from the 2010 spread. My overall impression was very literal in terms of rebirth as a mother and as a family unit. It also pointed to lots of internal work which makes sense to me since I seem to remember from Ky's babyhood being very introspective from all the late night feeding sessions. You are awake enough to feed the babe but still hazy from lack of sleep so you tend to stay in a more internal, thoughtful state.

With the new baby set to arrive around Equinox this year I hope to have the ambition to celebrate both Imbolc and Spring's arrival. Once we get mobile I intend to explore our mountain with my boys and make spending outdoor time a huge priority. Being outdoors, making artwork and caring for my family are the most "pagan" parts of my life right now. Caring for my family being all the homemaking and celebrating we do, even budgeting and running errands. Being connected to spirit for me is very much about being present these days. Meditating behind closed doors is not a huge priority nor is continuing the trance work I was doing more of in 2009. I think those things will come back to me but for now they are not compelling me towards making time for them. Looking at something I've created that is being used by my family is very rewarding and the snippets of time that I spend sewing give me a great sense of joy. It can be about the little things and I'm grateful for that.

a new year

2011-01-05T16:11:00.000-08:00

As each year passes on this journey of mine I find myself greeting the new year in different ways. In looking over my goals from last year I kept things simple and left the specifics for some other year. That ended up being a good decision for me and us since small steps were taken which of course led to other paths not foreseen in the initial ideas.

Food and health were a huge component. We established routines and some stuck while others faded away. I wouldn't say in the end that 2010 was a particularly active year for us since the gym membership was abandoned, yoga on my own was sporadic at best until my prenatal class in the fall, and we certainly took fewer family walks than we had the previous year. But we made a huge move towards eating more holistically. I journeyed to almost vegetarianism and then back to a full meat eater. Dave began eating meat after a decade of vegetarianism and noticed a marked difference in his health. Nourishing Traditions: The Cookbook that Challenges Politically Correct Nutrition and the Diet Dictocrats changed my perspective on food preparation and began an at times overwhelming endeavor to eat with digestion and optimal nutrient absorption in mind.

I took small steps towards being more pro-active in maintaining our health and avoiding sickness which we managed pretty well. One stomach virus plagued us all, and Ky had a few brief colds and fevers but overall I'd say we made it through 2010 with little illness.

Kyan joined the ranks of the potty trained, no longer breastfeeding big boys in big boy beds. We indulged his love of singing and introduced him to more structured play environments in the community, while at the same time giving him plenty of space to evolve his personality and imagination organically.

Personally I kept up with writing as best I could and I did complete some art goals as well. Making a picnic blanket, completing an art for art's sake piece, and making gifts and home projects. Pregnancy was planned and welcomed despite it taking its usual toll on me in the first trimester. Moving was exciting and stressful but so worth the effort in the end.

As is so often the case for me with spiritual matters my practice fell by the wayside way too often. Having young children does not aide me in this but I make the sacrifice without too much regret because I know it will come back. I know that I will have more "me" time in every aspect when my children are older. I see my crone self rising each morning to yoga, meditation and self-reflection. Being an artist, writer and having a daily practice. I will have those things in their time. I plan on sharing more about my spiritual goals later this week along with my yearly tarot spread which I managed to do yesterday. Yah!

I welcome this year with optimism and a serious re-organizing bug derived from nesting hormones and the completion of construction work in our storage room. These next few weeks before our second son's birth will go by so quickly and I find myself trying to savor it being "just the three of us" while also feeling a sense that our family will be complete once this guy makes his big entrance. I'm so grateful for the expansion of our family with a healthy nephew joining us and my parent's health being more stable. And I am ever grateful for this space and the inspiration of the friends I've made here. Having this little piece of me is always grounding and rewarding beyond measure. Happy 2011 friends. May it be your best one yet.

Art of the Month: December

2010-12-31T17:07:00.000-08:00

I want to share some of the lovely gifts both received and given this month. I feel so privileged to be around so many creative women and talented artists. Fostering this creative spirit in Kyan is a joy to me. I don't structure our art sessions much yet as he is only 3, but when he sees me painting or drawing he asks to do it too and that says to me that he sees merit in it and enjoys the process of creation. Our gray skies have cleared up and so we've got sunshine but it has brought with it much colder temperatures. Well, much colder for the west coast anyway. I can't believe that the New Year is upon us. I hope to fit in my yearly tarot card spread this weekend. Usually I do it in November around my birthday but I didn't fit it in then. I hope to share a bit about this tradition with you in the new year. I stole the idea from Heidi Joy many years ago and it never ceases to amaze me how looking back over the year and reading the results of the spread reveals so much about what occurred. And now for some of the results of gift giving and receiving.

Kyan's crown that I showed in progress in this post. I can't say he has warmed up to it yet but it's there for whenever his future self is inclined to be king-like.

I received this lovely Soul Sister from my wonderful friend Sarah who is journeying with me through pregnancy at this time.

Some handmade pot holders from Heidi Joy. Such a lovely combination of fabrics....I almost hesitate to use them. And below is the finished doll house. Ky has played with it and I just have to make some cushions for the sofa and some blankets and pillows for the dolls.

And I put these drawstring bags together to house a bamboo game of Tic Tac Toe and the blue bag has a good luck charm in the pocket. Drawstring bags are useful for holding so many little things together whether for child's toys, for traveling or any type of storage. I'm contemplating making some to just have on hand out of odd ends of fabric. Maybe after the thousand or so other projects I have in the cue. This year has been a success for many projects and I've had a blast getting some started, a few finished and dreaming about all the rest. In a few short months my life will be graced with yet one more distraction from this work that I love but I know there is light at the end of the tunnel. And the days that I devote to the new baby will be brief in the grand scheme of life and I'll get back to a semi-regular sewing/creating schedule eventually. May 2011 be fruitful for you in whatever you choose to create. Happy New Year.

Making Merry

2010-12-28T11:05:00.000-08:00

Our days have been full of creating, enjoying and resting. Resting more in the last two or three. I feel so grateful for the gifts we've received and the times we have shared with loved ones. Oh, and the meals...well they overwhelmed me more than once. Something about holiday meals and a smaller stomach due to carrying a baby inside your womb does not go together. I hope your holidays have been wonderful.

our weekend

2010-12-21T14:50:00.000-08:00

Happy Solstice to you all. I wanted to share some snippets of our weekend. Ky had his birthday bash a week early so that he could have a party like the real kids born on the other 364 days of the year. I will drop in this week with photos from our days of making, both merry and gifts. We have our special family of three dinner and gift exchange tonight. This will be the first year that hopefully begins to instill this day as a tradition that we will carry with us throughout our family time together.

more to come soon friends. hope you are all having a merry week.

My Top Ten Holiday Movies

2010-12-14T08:50:00.000-08:00

I've compiled this list from movies that have stayed with me over the years. This time of year is my favorite. I love snow drifting softly, holiday songs in the background and the hazy glow of Yule tree lights. Again, this list may be missing your favorites so add them in the comments if you think they shouldn't be missed.

10. The Man Who Saved Christmas
This is a T.V movie that I watched last year. Jason Alexander of Seinfeld fame stars as a man who runs a toy company in the early 20th century and perseveres through adversity. The writing is good and the message is one that shows the characters learning from mistakes and evolving. A positive one and as I remember it it is family friendly but is more for older kids.

9. The Family Man
Normally I'm not a huge Nicolas Cage fan but I like this movie. The contrast of this man's experience when he is taken from a corporate highballer to a "family man" is somehow believable in Cage's portrayal. I am a sucker for the second chance to see how things might have been. There are several films on this list that fit into that theme.

8. Elf
This movie is so funny. Will Ferrell has this genuine sentiment in his acting that comes across so strongly in this one. The plot is charming and corny but I love how he believes in all things Christmas. There is also a great version of Baby it's Cold Outside, one of my favorite holiday songs.

7. When Harry Met Sally
Now you may be thinking is this really a holiday movie? And I say why of course it is. There are several scenes as the years pass of Christmas holidays and New Year's celebrations. This is one of my top movies of all time. It has it all, witty humour, romance and a certain '80s flair for fashion. Getting the xmas tree is a central part of the plot since you see Harry and Sally getting it together and separately and it makes the connection they share obvious and poignant.

6. A Christmas Carol /Scrooge 1951 version
There are many versions of this film/story. I think this one is the one I like best and that is because I love the Ghost of Christmas Present's scene. To me he is like the Green Man, a figure of abundance filled with the essence of living in the moment. A hearty laugh, feasting, spreading joy and good cheer....what else could you ask for? This story is a classic for a reason, the original what could be if you don't change your ways tale.

5. Little Women (Collector's Series) 1994/ Little Women 1949
Here I just have to list two versions of this movie because I love them both and they both have wonderful Christmas scenes. The 1994 version has a great cast and Susan Sarandon's portrayal of the Mama is very empowering. The 1949 version with June Allyson and Elizabeth Taylor is the first version I learned to love as a child. It has the charm of the 40's style and you can feel the wholesome love the family has.

4. It's a Wonderful Life
Do I really need to explain this one? It's a classic, so American, heartwarming and full of vintage charm.

3. One Magic Christmas
This is another classic from my childhood. The story is touching as a mother who has lost her joy of the season from all of the struggles of daily life raising a family learns how fragile each moment is with the help of an angel. Simple and compelling.

2. A Muppet Family Christmas
I love this one so much. All the muppet characters from The Muppet Show to Sesame Street to Fraggle Rock show up in this one. I haven't watched it with Kyan yet but I hope he loves it as much as I do. Regardless we're going to be watching it many times as the years progress.

1. White Christmas
The songs in this movie are the ones that everyone loves. The story is entertaining and this movie moves at a good pace to keep you interested. Dancing, Vermont lodges, train travel, Bing Crosby....I could go on but if you haven't seen it check it out. If this doesn't get you in the mood I don't know what will. Happy viewing!

blurrrrrr....

2010-12-08T22:21:00.000-08:00

Um...so I'm a bit busy with stuff. Things here and there, finished, unfinished, pending, processing, becoming an Auntie, slowly gathering bits and ideas to make the holidays festive for little $$....planning the first big party of Kyan's birthday history, being annoyed by things beyond my control and in the case of last night waking at 4 a.m to ponder it all. As you can imagine that has brought about some highs, lows and many emotions in between. The highlight of the week has been knowing that my sister and her little baby boy are healthy and made it through the first arduous journey that they'll face together. Another was visiting with a dear friend and her son. Sharing our lives now and laughing about our lives then and how ten years later we've turned out pretty well.

A package sent and wrapped with love and lots of help from the artist in residence.

WIP based on the pattern in: The Creative Family: How to Encourage Imagination and Nurture Family Connections

And the doll house that is slowly coming together for the boy of the house. I know he'll probably only use it as a car garage but I feel proud to supply him with his first bachelor pad. The fun of decorating is next.

There is so much holiday magic out there in the blogs. Really an inspiration to behold. I'll soon be sharing more festive spirit myself.

Angry doesn't even begin to cover it

2010-11-29T10:26:00.000-08:00

The last time a political cause crossed this blog was in June when I shared my action towards having Bill-C311 passed by the Senate. The bill was the Climate Change Accountability Act and it was an important step for Canada who is not living up to our potential in changing our impact on the earth. I was horrified to learn that the Senate killed the bill in mid-November. Without debate, without commitee meetings offering alternatives or alterations the Senate calculatedly waited until the Conservatives would have a majority and voted the bill down.

All the emails that I sent to those Senators fell on deaf ears. The Harper government is a disgrace to this nation. I can not find one redeaming quality that he possesses. There is a UN Climate Change Summit being held in Cancun beginning today. John Baird Canada's minister of the Environment might as well stay here and go visit the oil sands...or go lounge by the pool at whatever Mexican resort he is staying at. I am embarrassed by our country's leadership on this issue, probably the most defining moment in the 21st century is passing us by in a blur of oil soaked, greedy and shortsighted "leadership."

The warmth of the coming holidays dulls the anger slightly for me, but I could not let this issue that I have been writing about for many moons now go by without a word of outrage. Other than embarrassment and anger I simply urge anyone out there to remember that we can vote these people out of government. Harper is not doing his job to any degree that I consider acceptable. If you feel the same way please put your feelings out there and vote them out of power a.s.a.p.

News of note

2010-11-27T08:15:00.000-08:00

I just wanted to share that I've been asked to contribute to the Pagan Parenting Resource Blog. I was honoured to be asked and in order to keep things clear in my mind I've developed three areas that I will write about for each of my three endeavors. Here I of course pour out the jumble of my mind in everything from mothering to politics to my personal pagan path. At PaganPages Ezine I write about day-to-day pagan parenting covering topics like Blessingways, family values, and general parenting issues from a pagan perspective. At the Pagan Parenting Resource Blog I've decided to share a monthly crafting/art project celebrating nature, the festivals or the seasons. There may be overlap in places but for the most part that is my plan for keeping the content in each place unique and fresh. I have just posted my first post to Pagan Parenting and have shared a tutorial for making a Tree Advent Calender with your kids. Please check out the site as it has some great contributors and content.

Art of the Month: Bathroom edition

2010-11-26T20:15:00.000-08:00

Today I'm sharing my latest finished project from Handmade Home: Simple Ways to Repurpose Old Materials into New Family Treasures. I created the very cozy towel rug from a thrift store towel and a vintage sheet. I changed the dimensions so that it fits perfectly in the small space between our toilet and wall in front of the tub. Dave later informed me that it wasn't wide enough for him to feel balanced on....so the next one will be slightly wider. This project is really quick I did mine in an hour and a half and it is really easy to throw into the wash unlike the rubber backed rugs that tend to disintegrate over time.

I love that you can get such instant gratification from a project like this. And I love the feeling of the terry cloth circles under my feet. I have plans for at least one more of these so that I can rotate more frequently and because my other rubber backed mat is not going to last much longer. These mats are certainly the most economical and homey feeling that I've come across. And they dry really quickly too.